The Jason Theory
Jason Stratton of KlopasStratton Team, a top 20 team in the nation with over 1.2 billion sold , sits down with weekly guests to talk about becoming successful, the real estate market, and crazy stories/people we run into. Visit www.klopasstratton.com to see more!
The Jason Theory
S3 E10 - Maria McNabb's Guide to Self-Love and Inner Peace
Ready to transform your life with the power of energy healing and emotional balance? Join us as we welcome the insightful Maria McNabb, a life coach and Reiki healer, who explains how Reiki can release emotional blockages and restore the natural flow of energy in the body. Maria discusses how everyday factors like stress, diet, and environmental toxins disrupt our energy, leading to discomfort and disease. Discover how channeling life force energy can foster vitality and happiness, and why true healing involves the interconnectedness of body, mind, and spirit.
How do profound life experiences shape our personalities and growth? In a heartfelt segment, we delve into the transformative power of meditation and the process of confronting and integrating past traumas. Through a personal story of loss, we explore how viewing traumatic events through a lens of gratitude can offer invaluable life lessons. Learn the importance of not dwelling in the past but using it to gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of life, and why imparting these insights to younger generations can accelerate personal growth and wisdom.
Unlock the secrets of self-love and confidence! We discuss the interplay between mindset and energy in personal development and healing. Discover how different chakras influence our energy, creativity, and emotional well-being, and practical steps to enhance self-love and self-worth, including daily gratitude practices and heart-focused meditation. We also touch on the challenges of balancing dreams and reality, fostering parental accountability, and intentional living. This episode promises to guide you towards a more intentional, joyful existence. Don't miss the rich insights shared by Maria and the valuable lessons that await you!
What I'm doing is like, if you think of yourself as a battery, I'm the charge to your battery, so I'm just charging up your own life force, energy. Because what happens is that we move through life and have these experiences and stress, and the food that we eat and all these things contribute to blockages in the body. And what Reiki does is it helps release and remove those emotional blockages in the body. And what Reiki does is it helps release and remove those emotional blockages in the body so that the energy can flow in the direction that it's supposed to.
Speaker 2:What's the five P's? Do you remember it? Proper preparation prevents poor performance.
Speaker 2:There you go. It doesn't matter how much money we get, if we don't close, it's no money, right? So no clothes is no money. I'm everything that I am because of my dad's death, and I wouldn't be as successful without his death. Hello, welcome to the Jason Theory. This is season three I believe episode 10, but I messed that up sometimes. And we are here with Maria McNabb, correct, correct. And we are here with Maria McNabb, correct, correct. I've always just called you Miss Maria, and we are going to talk about, we are actually going to solve in the next 45 minutes, people's depression and people's happy and anxiety, like we're all going to. We're going to do that. So if you ever have issues, we were going to solve them in 45 minutes, right now.
Speaker 1:No, um, tell us first off what you do, what your, what your, your shtick is yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'm a life coach and a Reiki healer, and I work with women on um becoming who they truly are which means a lot of women come to me with a lot of stuff that they need to work through, and so my work with women is to bring them closer to who they truly are, and that is done through like powerful conversations that we have reflective conversations, but also with Reiki healing. So I'm a real advocate of all things holistic and looking at the person as a whole and looking at all areas of their life, not just one area, because typically if one area is off, they're all affected.
Speaker 2:So for people that don't understand what Reiki is, give us the super bridged version.
Speaker 1:It is a healing modality that brings the body naturally into balance and harmony, and so it recognizes that everything is energy. Okay. And so I have been attuned to the frequency of Reiki, which is just life force, life force energy. Okay, I channel it in through my hands into the client's body and I work over the energy channels and systems in the body. So people are mostly familiar with the chakras. Yes, right, so those are. There's seven main ones in the body and.
Speaker 2:I work around them, and so so you don't work with those seven things, you work around them. So it's separate than or it's, it's all together, all it's it's all together all together it's all together, it's all part of the body
Speaker 1:yeah and um, what I'm doing is like if you think of yourself as a battery, I'm the the, the charge to your battery, so I'm just charging up your own life force, energy. Because what happens is that we move through life and have these experiences and stress and the food that we eat and all these things contribute to blockages in the body. And what Reiki does is it helps release and remove those emotional blockages in the body so that the energy can flow in the direction that it's supposed to. Because when the energy body is open, we have vitality, we're happy, we're open, we're joyful, we're energetic. But when those systems in our body are blocked or imbalanced, then we have symptoms and discomfort in the body or even disease. So if you go a long time without clearing your energy in the body, then you're going to create disease.
Speaker 2:What blocks that flow?
Speaker 1:Uh, everything, everything in our, in our environment. So it could be toxins that were uh in our natural environment. It could be our thoughts. A lot of it is our thoughts, a lot of it of our experiences.
Speaker 2:any traumas, wounds that we've experienced create the blocks in the body and the food we eat, and do these blocks, then they, like you're saying, these are, like you know, like basic building blocks, right? If you're not good down below it's, if the foundation isn't set, everything else is going to be incorrect and that foundation, you're saying, can be altered by experiences in our lives foods, whatever it is, toxins in the air, and then how do you go about clearing that? Like, how do we go about clearing toxins in the air? Like, when you do your healing, is it something that, okay, this is good for X amount of times, but you're going to have things that come back and you have to constantly upkeep that healing.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Healing isn't. There's no destination or end point to healing. It's a lifestyle, really. It's like how good do you want to feel on a daily basis? You get to decide, and so if you want to feel like we're going to be talking about happiness and gratitude and being joyful, well, there are certain things that you need to do in order for that to happen, and part of it is completely related to your body and having a connection to your body.
Speaker 2:Interesting. So you really can't force yourself or have that mindset to be happy or have gratitude until you actually clean out your body and have the ability to have that mindset to be happy or have gratitude, until you actually clean out your body and have the ability to have that feeling.
Speaker 1:It's not an either or it's the same time. It's a combination of a variety of things that you need to do. So, like when I work with clients. For instance, before we even started coaching conversation, I need to clear their energy and see, like, what's stagnant in the body, what's showing up, because each chakra will have certain symptoms that are related to what the person may be experiencing. So, for instance, a lot of people experience anxiousness and fear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, use some examples, because a lot of people don't pay this and that everyone has fear and everyone has angst.
Speaker 1:Typically that just means your root chakra is blocked. It doesn't mean that if I unblock your root chakra that you're never going to experience fear or anxiety, but it's going to loosen and start releasing some of that heaviness of those two very low vibration.
Speaker 2:So how does that come about? Is it from the mind creating those blocks or is it your environment that creates the block and then goes to your mind Like I don't understand if it goes exterior to here, or is it interior to here?
Speaker 1:I think it's both, because you're inner, so we're energy bodies, right?
Speaker 2:Like a glow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, yes, yes we have an aura, we have an energetic field and you feel people's yes, yes, I walk into a room. You can feel the energy right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people like that person has a presence. I'm like like just that's their state of mind and it's just exuding from them and, but it's both okay right, we're connected.
Speaker 1:They need to be connected.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Um our body is the unconscious.
Speaker 2:Okay, right, and expand on that.
Speaker 1:So um. We have the unconscious mind, the conscious mind, we have the subconscious mind. Okay. So the unconscious is like all the things that are running in our mind that we're not aware of. They're like out of view, they're like our blocks. They're like out of view, they're like our blocks, but the conscious is like our awareness. We're able to see the things clearly. We have a vision. We're leading a purposeful, intentional life because we're conscious about everything we do. Okay.
Speaker 1:The subconscious is like if you think of an iceberg right, an iceberg underwater, like this is all the like like really deep stuff. The heavy stuff, the heavy stuff, the childhood stuff, these stored memories that are in here.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Also.
Speaker 2:And that's the subconscious underneath the water.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's also creating a lot of the disturbances in the body. Okay, and the way that we're interacting in the world.
Speaker 2:How do we tap into that subconscious?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Meditation. You knew I was going to say that Meditation breath work.
Speaker 2:There's certain practices that you can do when you meditate?
Speaker 2:are you looking to tap into those subconscious things and bring them out and then deal with them, or are you just trying to like? Like you know what I'm saying, like, let's like, for instance, my father died in a plane wreck when I was younger. I know in my mind how that has affected me in certain ways. It's probably also affected me in certain ways that I don't know, but kind of probably governs the way that I am as a person. Like that. I don't even know. That's why I am, but when I do stuff, I kind of think back and I'm like I'm doing this because of X, y, z. I can kind of sit back and be like, okay, why do I have this personality trait? Why do I have this? I'm like, well, I have this because of this, I have this because of this, but there's stuff beneath there. Do you want to? When you're working with people, are you trying to dig that stuff up and then deal with it?
Speaker 1:that would be a lot.
Speaker 2:I'm just asking yeah, that would be a lot because that would seem to me like if you have demons that you don't know and it's from something that happened to you, be it abuse or this, or that you need to like if you're gonna get rid of it, well, you don't get rid of things but you have to be able to, you have to integrate it and deal with it and release it, instead of get rid of it and when you say release it, like for me, I look at my father's death and I can think of all, like I don't think of the negativity, like I don't think about losing you know, someone you love or this or that I honestly think of, like all the fantastic things that happened because my dad died, yep, like so to me, it's to me, I it's it sucks, but the same way I I'm like, oh man, you know what, if he didn't die, I wouldn't do this, this, this, this or this.
Speaker 2:So to me, I never have like I miss him. But I think when people die, the people that they leave behind, I think it's when you miss somebody I know this sounds crazy. I think it's selfish. They're gone, yeah, so the loss you have is selfish, right, because they don't give a shit.
Speaker 1:No, no, they're somewhere else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you know, they're probably more powerful like Obi-Wan Kenobi, like they're out there, yeah, and I'm like okay, if I'm sitting there crying about my dad, this, this, it's like am I? Am I crying like for him or I'm just crying for myself? I'm crying for myself. I'm like, okay, we'll get over that. Then, because he's gone, and then all this great stuff occurred because of it. Now there could be other great stuff that could occur to be state, but I still wouldn't have had four or five crucial lessons that if he died. Like I always say it was one of my first podcasts and like it's like there's no way I'm where I'm at without him dying.
Speaker 2:I'm just not yeah and I think people sometimes like so is that what? Just like that's how I like you know, obviously it was a ton of time at a bar thinking about this, but like that's where I was. Like I'm, after a year and a half of thinking about this, I'm over it and I get it. Now let's take this lesson that not many 20 year olds know and let's use it.
Speaker 1:Yep, I think you nailed what gratitude is Um, because you were looking at a moment in your life that was traumatic, and then you learned the lessons from it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, surreal.
Speaker 1:You took the experience instead of stayed in the experience. You actually use the experience for creating your life, yeah absolutely People don't do that. People live in their past.
Speaker 2:Which is a shame because it's such an amazing lesson right exactly like I always say, like I talk to my, my sons, about why we talk about you and you miss dad, loves, and I'm always like you know, I said by the time I was 24, mentally I was where a 50 year old would be or a six-year-old because I had lost something. I was where a 50-year-old would be or a 60-year-old Because I had lost something so intense that I figured out what I probably shouldn't have known about life 30 years later and I said I just had to leg up on everybody. I'm like no one could see the things. Your vision changes. I always tell that to my wife. I go you don't know, like how I see things. I said because of what I experienced and how it directed myself to a certain way that like, okay, I have some knowledge that I don't want people to have that knowledge, but, man, I have life knowledge that you will never have until you lose somebody that's dear and it's pretty powerful, like because you figure out things that most people don't figure out.
Speaker 2:At that age, lee had a one of Lee's closest friends' father passed away and he was 14. No, it's been a year, so 15. And you know, we went to the funeral and he sat down to me and he's like dude, how did you do it? And I said man. I said I go, it doesn't you you? You don't understand it. Now I said, but at about a year, I said you're going to understand, like all of this stuff that no one else understands. I said you're going to. I said I literally told him I go, air will taste better, like everything will be better because you're going to understand, like, how brief things are and how you really need to Like.
Speaker 2:I always tell my kids, like when they have a sporting event or something like I was telling Will, I'm like, oh, you're in eighth grade. And he's like, I'm like, think about that. I go. At the end of this year you will never play grammar school basketball again. And he looked at me. I said I'm trying to tell you to appreciate, like that you're never going to do that again. And just don't bitch or complain. I'm like just, instead of saying this is bad, this is bad, this is bad, be like oh, this is good, this is good, this is good yeah and just like lee got there, like last year, like like now Lee's like like he sees things the other way.
Speaker 2:But I think that's why people aren't happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To get back to yeah no, I totally agree To get off my little, little side story, but I think that's why people aren't happy.
Speaker 1:They're not happy because they live in the past. They live from their limitations, they live from their stories. So that could mean something happened to me. I'm going to hold a resentment against this person and I'm just going to replay that scenario over and over and over and then allow it to filter in and manifest in all areas of my life.
Speaker 2:And then that's where all that blockage comes from.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the heaviness of the body, the confusion, and then it just spirals into a bunch of things and then we can go into like distraction, or you know, people distract themselves constantly like through, uh, social media. Um, I mean yeah I mean, you name it. There's a million distractions around us.
Speaker 2:But if you are gonna, people love distractions absolutely, because they don't want to deal with their stuff they don't deal themselves right because it's so weak.
Speaker 1:I know it's because it's scary sometimes to realize that you are a complete creative creator of your reality and you have to take responsibility for that, and that sucks I know, but if we can get, if we can get people just to do that, this would be the most amazing world. Absolutely. This is why I coach, this is why I do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just like there's an author, jaco Wilco. Jaco Wilco, he ran the Navy like the most intense Navy SEAL this, this Navy SEAL, this, this. And when he got back from the military he realized that he could apply his SEAL training to Fortune 500 companies. In other words, he exploded and it's called Extreme Ownership. And they make a kid's version of this book. I made all my kids read it. It's amazing. And he's like no matter what happens to you in your life, he's like no matter what, he's like it's always your fault. There's something that happened that it's your fault and he was like the company sucks the CEO, your workers don't suck, you suck. And it's a book about, but no one wants to say I suck. But then how do you change if you don't acknowledge the fact that you suck?
Speaker 1:Well, that's why people are stuck in their stuff and go around complaining, distracting, talking about other people. Whatever it is that they're doing that are creating their unhappiness. It is a brave act to face yourself in the mirror every day and make conscious decisions on choosing how you're going to show up to yourself. So people might want, like, have a specific goal right, but they don't ask why do I want this goal? They always ask, well, how am I going to get that goal Without knowing why or why do you want that? Why do you want this goal? What is the underlying reason? And you just have to keep asking yourself why.
Speaker 2:Because if you sometimes you discover why do I want to be number one?
Speaker 1:I need to prove to everybody else that I'm good enough that I'm good enough, and so those that's what I want to point out is that those are limiting beliefs, those are beliefs of I'm not good enough or I'm not doing enough, or I need to control everything because I feel unsafe. Like those are those unconscious beliefs that are running everybody's reality, all of us. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But you have to be, you have to Well in my mind you have to work with somebody to really be able to identify that. Excuse me, because they're unconscious. You can't see what you can't see. You know that you keep running into certain behavioral patterns. You have these personality traits like they come from some sort of belief that have been developed over time.
Speaker 2:And you feel that energy when you're with somebody, and then you know how to direct that energy.
Speaker 1:So that's more of a mindset.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's mindset, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's like the coaching portion of my work. But the energetic part is more about I can feel the blocks in the body, sometimes I can see, sometimes I can hear what's going on in the body because I'm intuitive, which is why I do the work that I do, um, and then I can, over time, we can get to the root cause energetically of what's going on.
Speaker 1:So so, so say, somebody comes to me and their sacralral, they're sacral, which is right below the belly button and it's your, it's your creativity, your sexuality, um, it's your, your, like, your life force, um, if that area is blocked, oftentimes people are lethargic, um, fatigued, uh, aren't in the flow, the flow just kind of feel like just off.
Speaker 2:Like people say, I just feel off today.
Speaker 1:I just feel off.
Speaker 2:I have those days where I'm like I just feel off, I'm like just get through this day.
Speaker 1:Right, but over time, feeling off turns into more things. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right. So that's just like one example. So when the sacral is open, you're creative, you're going with the flow, like you have energy, right. I'll give another example. So say, your solar plexus, which is above the belly button, that's our center, that's like our energy, that's our power. So when we feel empowered, our solar plexus is open okay when we have had a loss of power or we feel powerless, we have low self-worth, low self-confidence, self-doubt, then that's most likely this is blocked okay right, these are very general yeah, right um same with the heart, the heart chakra.
Speaker 1:So if the chakra is blocked, we may be able to. So heart chakra is like giving and receive love, right. That's the basics. If we've had lots of hurts, we've all had heartbreak and disappointments, right? Well, what happens is we create these energetic barriers around our heart and start closing down this field, this, this energy center, with all of our hurts and our resentment like yeah, I've been dumped so many times, I'm not looking anymore now I'm closed.
Speaker 1:I'm closed down yeah, okay, right yeah, or it might show up, as this happens a lot in women. I'm gonna over give constantly. I'm over giving. I'm everything I have, but never giving it to myself, and have a hard time receiving from another person. So, like, if you notice in women's conversations, another woman might compliment a woman and she'll come back and say, oh well, you look nice too, instead of just saying thank you. Instead of just saying thank you, they'll come back and say, like, women have a hard time receiving. You do that. Well, maybe your heart's blocked and and, and that's just another example. Um so, but when your heart is open, this is important you take the compliment you can take a compliment, you give and receive love easily.
Speaker 1:Um, you're like, joyful and grat and grateful and happy is from your heart space, because the heart and the brain are connected and you, in order to live a limitless life and a joyful life, it is important to have a heart and brain coherence. There's like all this research on the heart brain coherence. There's like all this research on the heart-brain coherence, but we're not going to go into that today. But when you connect that way every day, you're connecting with your heart space and intentionally doing that, because the heart reveals your truth. So when I work with women and I say I'm bringing women back to their true selves, we're bringing them back to their heart space and we're opening up the heart, because the heart has all the answers.
Speaker 1:So when I drop into meditation every day as a practice, I focus on gratitude in my heart. First I get into an elevated state of emotion. I allow that emotion to go throughout my body and then I ask the question what needs to come through to me through today? What do I need to know today to have an amazing day? Or or to get through this project, or whatever? And then I will receive messages because I'm connected to my heart space. I'm connected, this whole part is connected, and then I just leave from that space. So every conversation that I have, I go in with my heart being open. So I'll tap into my heart first If I'm going to have a difficult conversation. I want to be connected to my heart. So whatever comes out of my heart is the truth, it's authentic, it's calm, it's responsive, it's not reactive, it's not closed down. I'm not coming from a place of defensiveness.
Speaker 2:Does that make sense Totally. How do you deal with people when you're talking to them and are coming from that area and just how do you like, like, what is the first step to get them like? Obviously it's not that type of self-awareness from the start, but at least to start in like loving themselves, or to start like being like hey, I, I'm worth this or I'm worth that, like, like not to be in that I mean, I don't think. I mean maybe depressed state is it, but more I don think it's depressed. I just think people just sometimes don't like themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they don't. They talk terrible to them.
Speaker 2:So how do you, how do you like? What's the first step? To like stop that.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's a great question, cause that is actually the first thing that I address when working with people.
Speaker 2:First, it has to be first you can't go, you can't get the step two with without saying, okay, you're, you're worth something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly One. I have to clear their energy with Reiki before I can do anything. They need to be open to the possibility of something different, and that's what Reiki will do. It will clear your energy, open you up to a new possibility. Then the first thing I do in every coaching session is ground the body, so just a simple like grounding your feet, sitting up tall, and then we do some breath work. We'll inhale four, exhale four, or we'll do alternate nasal breathing, some sort of breath work first to get into the body and then I direct them through a heart meditation and we and I have the client ask what does your heart need to say today? And we do that every session because people are so disconnected from their body they don't even know what their heart says. And then eventually maybe might just some people are are are more open than others.
Speaker 1:Um, then their heart tells us what's what's going on and what's what's heavy, and then we kind of then we go into the coaching part but, I can't coach until you're connected to your body and your your nervous system is regulated, and the only way to do that is through the breath and through a meditation, so I can get your full presence here, because you coming in with all of this stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all these issues.
Speaker 1:All these well things that you need to.
Speaker 2:Get off your plate. Yeah, Like yeah. Yeah. It's so like where does you know? Like I'm trying, I'm thinking along as you talk, like where does the? Where does we've got opening up, finding the worth in yourself? And then how do people start getting that confidence?
Speaker 1:So I didn't finish what I was going to say, cause I'm glad you said that it's about the loving your part. So there is a practice that I teach almost every woman. It kind of depends, but most women. I teach them a practice called mirror. Teach almost every woman. It kind of just depends, but most women I teach them a practice called mirror work.
Speaker 1:You know, men have the same issues I know, I know and I have, and when men want to work with me, I would be happy to work with them, but I work mostly with. If somebody would be open to this, I teach.
Speaker 2:Men and women have like, just they have different like we were saying I I get them and like I think I'm like all right, here's the men's issues. I was a little bit different.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, women talk horribly to themselves.
Speaker 2:Women talk horribly to each other.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Men, don't do that.
Speaker 1:I know, but I bet they do talk negatively to themselves.
Speaker 2:I mean, everyone has confidence issues. I mean I think that's you know, that's the you know, that's the pinnacles being able to get up and say I love myself, I love what I do, I love my life, I love my family. I couldn't have anything happier. And I think that all comes from what you said before being grateful and being like man. You know where I could be. I could be underneath a viaduct, I could have a needle in my arm, I could have parents that didn't love me, I could have this, this and this. You know, and I think the ultimate goal is to get to a point where you hop out of bed and you're like, fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know how you get there. Intention yeah. You have to lead a life of intentionality. You have to lead a life of purpose. You have to do what lights you up and excites you. People go to work and they hate their jobs. They come home they're miserable, but they're not willing to make a choice. You have a choice to create your own reality.
Speaker 2:But I think you could also have a great. I think you could also have a great life and hate it because you're measuring yourself to someone else or you just can't see what's in front of you and how nice it is. Like I don't disagree with what you're saying, but I mean I think I could get up and just be a miserable person and have everything at my foot and be like I just miserable, because we know those people like you're, like absolutely it's like how can you be miserable?
Speaker 2:how do actors and people of amazing stature hang themselves and you're like what robin williams did? What, yeah? And it's like. It's like because they're not, they're, they're just looking at everything that's bad in their life and they can't make that switch to be like, oh, actually, this is a great life well, they have some inner they're demons, yeah or shadow work that they haven't done or addressed. That is contributing to this, uh and instead of dealing with it, they all do drugs.
Speaker 1:It's a distraction right. It numbs the pain of looking at yourself and being famous. That would be really overwhelming. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
Speaker 2:People are always like how about if there was a reality show at real estate in here? And I'm like, are you kidding me? I would never. There's people that love that. I was like dude kidding me, I would never. And there's people that love that, yeah, I was like did a few like that?
Speaker 1:sounds awful, it does. It's awful. Yeah, it'd be like cool for like one day, and I'm like you're still here. Yeah, fuck out. Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:Um, I don't know where we were talking about the men and women, yeah, so continue on. So we're talking about confidence, confidence, yes, and women being mean at them. But men are mean at themselves too. I mean they are. Yeah, you know, like people have issues about that stuff too. I mean, sometimes it's stupid. Like you know, I hate my legs. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's a confidence issue yeah but a dumb one true, I I agree. I agree, we pick apart ourselves yeah, but but uh, so anyways, getting back to the confidence like how do you like so, as you're, as you're opening up your heart and as you are loving who you are, then getting the confidence of being like. I mean, confidence is everything I can talk to this person, I can get this job, and I think once you have that confidence, it manifests itself Exactly.
Speaker 1:It occurs. Yes, because you're, you believe you're worse.
Speaker 2:I think people feel that right Like. People feel that. People like like when you have a presence, you have a presence because you believe in yourself. That's your presence. Yep.
Speaker 2:And I just you know, people have to get to that point. I had, like I had a roommate and in college great guy, kevin Moffitt, extremely successful right now, like beyond successful, and we were talking once and he's like this is kind of a stupid, but it's, it's not. Like this is what guys are and we're, we're talking and like we're gonna go out to the bars and I go about and like we're at the barbo. I'm like, I'm like you know, I'm like that girl's looking at you. You should go talk to her. He's like I can't talk to people. I'm like what do you mean? He's like he goes. I'm't do that. I'm like, well, just, I'm like just do it. Like I don't understand why, like people just go straight to like all these things of failure will happen. But if you don't, if you're scared of that failure, I just don't know how to get out of your own way.
Speaker 1:Well, there's a story, there's a belief that they hold about themselves that you can't see, because, yes, on the outside they're very successful, but on the inside there is some sort of pain or wound or something that's closed down, some experience that they had that has dictated the reason why they couldn't go and talk to a woman. They might fear rejection. They might fear, like, what if she doesn't talk to me, which I guess is rejection, rejection. And then how does that reflect to me as a man? Am I not good enough? Am I not good looking enough? I am I not of the right status? Like, am I not tall enough?
Speaker 2:you know, like all of those thoughts I assume go through a man so when you're doing your, after you do your rake, clear it and then you guys are talking Are those the things like when you talk to women like, hey, let's talk about why you can't do this. Is there any thoughts, Is there any memories that you remember why you can't do that? And then talking through those things and saying, okay, let's flush that, let's get rid of this and let's start new. Is that part of that process?
Speaker 1:Yes and no, okay. So yes, on the thinking. So there's always a thinking that ignites the emotion. So if you're thinking, um, uh, what's a good example. I don't want to talk in public, right? Or I don't want to, I'm scared to talk in on stage, well, there's some sort of belief that you have like, oh, I'm going to fail. There's some sort of thinking that's taking place that is creating the fear or creating the anxiety. So you have to dissect. Okay, why do I actually? You have to get back to the thinking. Why actually do I feel this way? What am I actually really afraid of? And then you stay with it, like, okay, if this is the worst case scenario that can happen, okay, then what? Okay, and then what? Until that fear becomes less of a that emotion doesn't. That's the worst thing.
Speaker 1:Doesn't matter. Right, but you have to go through that process.
Speaker 2:It's like a speck in my life. Exactly doesn't matter, right, but?
Speaker 1:you have to go through that. It's like a speck in my life, exactly interesting. Yeah, so you have to like. So a lot of people say, like in coaching, people will say specific words. I'm like okay, well, what does that actually mean to you? What does it mean to be happy? Let's identify what that means in all areas of your life. What? What does it mean to feel worthy Like? What does that mean to you? What does that look like?
Speaker 2:Are there people that are just like, as an example, are there people that are just happy and, like you know, my happiness comes from this is, like I'm going to use a superficial reality Is my happiness having the most money? Like, can you like? Are there people that are like that's their happy place? I don't think it can be, but like, I'm just wondering, like how you take somebody that thinks that this is their happiness, right, and it really isn't, and that's why they're miserable, even though they think they're happy, and redirect it and say I mean, you almost have to, you almost have to break them down, like in the military. You got to take them back to square one and then set them in the right direction for happiness. That's a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, what comes out in coaching when I've noticed, is that again I'm going to go back to these root beliefs that people hold about themselves and really I can see within a few sessions what's at play, despite what people are telling me and like we're dissecting things.
Speaker 2:And you listen to enough of it.
Speaker 1:I can really start, and a lot of it I've already experienced, so like oh, this sounds very familiar. I know exactly what this looks like.
Speaker 2:So like, oh, this sounds very familiar, I know exactly what this looks like, and then we just continue to de-layer the whole, everything Do you think that's why women are a little bit easier for you to deal with, because you have, like, a little bit more of a feeling. Okay, I know this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's my own healing journey has been.
Speaker 2:And this is what I did. This is your feeling, this, this, this or this. Cause it seems to me, like everybody, people love to complicate things. My, my theory in life is the more complicated people can make a situation, the easier it is not to fix it. So they just keep adding layers of bullshit, so then they don't have to get to where they're at.
Speaker 2:And it seems to me like if you can strip it all away be it man, female, whatever it is it's like okay, we need just to get to like these two things, and once we get to these two things, everything else is going to take care of itself. Like you said, like the building blocks, right, let's get your energy to clear it and let's get you happy, right, and then you know, stop wanting to be ignorant, complicating matters, like I always tell my friends like when we're having discussions, I'm like I just see everything in black and white and everyone's like no, life is not black and white. I will die saying life is black and white. We make it gray so we can have an excuse why we don't do something like. That's like my mantra everything's black and white.
Speaker 2:People are like like, if you really, really, really, really, really break everything down. It's this way or this way, like you know here, like the blend, and people may fight me on it, but I like I always just feel like people blend, like people make things hazy and make things complicated because it's really easy for me this, for me, it's easy for me to complicate something. So then I don't address it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then I pull myself back and I'm like, no, don't do that. What do you feel? What do you need to do? Because it's not all that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and who do you need to become? People never ask the question of like, okay, I want this certain thing, but who do I need to become to do that? What? What do I need to put in place in my life every day to become that person? How do I take my current reality? This is what we do in coaching. We take the current realities, whatever the person's coming to us, coming to me with we. I asked them well, how do you want to feel physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? And then from there and really understanding what that means, then we can go into well, why do you want to feel this way? And who do you need to become? Because people will set goals right, smart goals, totally not in favor of smart goals.
Speaker 2:What's a smart goal? I've never heard of that. I want to. I want to read 10 books.
Speaker 1:It's like smart, like uh measurable uh action we're going to have to Google all the acronyms. Okay, oh, that's an acronym.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, acronym yeah okay, yeah, um don't worry about it yeah, you had me off. Now I'm off, no, don't worry. But basically what I'm saying is that you have to identify, like who you need to become and why do you want to become that, and then live your life as if it already happened. So so, people, if you want to, become a manifestor. Hold up, I'm going too fast.
Speaker 2:No, no, I'm just bringing it in, if I can, if I'm having problems with it. I'll listen to you too, so know where you want, know where you want, to, know who you want to be and live your life Like you're. That already Correct?
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so if you want to be a little bit like you're that already Correct, okay, yeah, so if you want to be, okay, I'm tripping out on that a little bit, but I'll think about that when I'm in the car today. So let's talk about, like, let's take happiness, because happiness is an internal job right. You cannot. Happiness is not on the external, it's from within. Yeah. You wake up happy.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right from within. Yeah, you wake up happy. Yes, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not going to be happy. A hundred percent of the time, that's impossible.
Speaker 1:It's ridiculous. Yeah Right, that shouldn't even be a goal of yours. Yeah, but if you are mostly in a state of joy, of gratitude, you, you're happy.
Speaker 2:Yes, right.
Speaker 1:Um, and you're happy because you are living a life that is in alignment with your true self, your purpose, your intentional life.
Speaker 2:Oh, I like that. That's a good soundbite. That'll be the intro. No, you found your path.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:This is what you're meant to do.
Speaker 1:And you're lit up, you know that you are on the right path, because everything is in alignment for the most part your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviors and your actions Actions are in alignment with that. So I wasn't in alignment with teaching. I loved to teach. I was really good at it, right. Yeah. But it got to a point where was really good at it, right yeah, but it got to a point where, like I, wasn't lit up. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so that wasn't my true purpose, and so I but no matter how much I loved I would love 23 year olds to six year olds. At some point I would shoot myself.
Speaker 3:It was yeah, that's a lot. It is, I think that's a five-year, four-year thing.
Speaker 2:That's like saying I'm going to run marathons until I'm a hundred. Yeah. Yeah, at some point your body breaks down.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Anyways, I get what you're saying. Yeah, so you come out of misalignment, but you can change too, right, that's what I'm saying, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then, when I turned to, 35, I kind of changed this is my path, and now this is my path, and now this is my path, because as you grow wiser, your path probably changes.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Yeah, of course you evolve, hopefully. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:But people miss the misalignment that's happening so like they continue down that path, even though their mentality and their body is starting to bend this way because we're conditioned.
Speaker 1:We allow our conditioning to dictate how we show up. Okay, I got you. So if we're conditioned like, oh, you have to work this kind of job to be successful, well, that's what I've been told my whole life. So I'm just, I have to do this, even though this is not what my heart wants, and I know it. Like I go to my job and I'm like that's not what I want.
Speaker 2:Well, how do you deal with? Just don't forget that, don. Well, how do you deal with? Just don't forget that, don't stop that thought. Okay, but how do you deal with the fact that you still have to provide? Yeah, right, like you still have to that's a really, really great question.
Speaker 2:So like I like, listen, I would love to open up a small gym and and train people, and I would love to be a kid sports coach. But I I have like that's, like that's what I want to do. Like my next step is going to be as soon as everyone's out of the house. I have only James. At that point. I'm going to be like I told you, I'm just going to coach you and your teams.
Speaker 2:That's it. So I like I would, I that's the path I want to go. But at the moment and I'm and I'm, at the moment, I'm doing this, which I love to do, because I actually really enjoy what I do. But you know, I know that if someone said you can live how you live now, doing this, or that, I would do that.
Speaker 1:But I know that's not reality. But I'm still happy and that's a choice you have to make, right. You can still. You still have components of that in your life with your kids already.
Speaker 2:So you're already in a sense acting that out and I'm coaching people into, like, what I love about my job is coaching people into what they really need for the next phase of their life and their house, and like where they build their family. Like that's how I look at it. That's why I love it, because it's very interesting and you know this, this that the part is just a by-product of loving what you do. Um, so I love that, but I still love what I do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that you can have both like you have to be either or and if, if like the financial part of it is, choose the part of it that you can do at this time, at this time in this moment, and find joy in that and and accept that so like when you coach some people that don't like the job they're in and let's say they can't like, there's gonna be people listening here.
Speaker 2:They're doing something that they just don't not that they don't love, but it's like hey, this is not like I always wanted to be a singer or I wanted to do this, or like I love to paint, but that's just really not in the cards. There's gotta be a way that you can look at what you're doing and make and and and pull joy out of it. There has to be.
Speaker 2:Or I agree, I mean, you can do something afterward too, like like a hobby or something, a passion right that you're passionate about. I just think that. I just think that there's always good in everything there's always, and just focus in. I like I have at the moment. I don't because I could be more selective, but I had clients I didn't like yeah they're just, they're just bad people like they're mean, they're jerks, this, this, like for me to survive with them.
Speaker 2:I would just pick out traits about them that I liked yeah, exactly and no matter what they said, I would just like you know I like his thoughts on the cubs so I think there's two parts to this that that I'll speak on.
Speaker 1:One is that if you are in alignment, like, say, you want to be a singer in my belief, yes, you may have to do some other stuff in the meantime, but if, if that is your truest desire and that was what you were meant to do in this, on this earth, in this life, you will find a way to do it and it will happen, because I believe that the universe will always back you.
Speaker 1:Whatever your heart's desire is and you find that purpose, that thing that lights you up, the universe is always going to make it happen for you. But you have to trust and live in the unknown of not knowing what it's going to look like. Trust and live in the unknown of not knowing what it's going to look like, because people want to control every single outcome. So I want to be a singer, but I'm going to control everything around me instead of allowing the process to happen in divine timing. I wanted to start a business a long time ago. I didn't know what it was going to look like. I had to go through certain steps to get to what I'm doing right now, where I'm in full alignment with my work, but I had to. I had to wait for those components to unfold and for me to learn some lessons and have some experiences in order to have the mindset and the like, the framework and the foundation in order to launch this kind of like work that I do.
Speaker 2:How does that what you just said right there, how does that um, compare or work with the mindset of if you want something, you want something. It's how much are you willing to sacrifice to get it? And if you are, if you truly are willing to sacrifice, whatever it takes, you'll get there? So, like are those in alignment with what you said? Because, like, what I'm saying is basically like what would come out of Jordan or Colby's mouth, right, like I always tell my kids you want to be great, how much are you willing to sacrifice everything else to get to that goal? Versus you're saying, or maybe it's a, maybe it's a melt of the two, like it's, like it's going to take time if it's meant to be, it will be to take time if it's meant to be.
Speaker 1:It will be, but at the same time you have to be able to sacrifice other things.
Speaker 2:Sacrifice like yes, like 100, yeah, like when, when I could say I want to do x, y, like I will tell you, yesterday we were supposed to no. Wednesday we're supposed to do plyometrics. Well, so james. So I take james downstairs. I have little hops, I have these little things. Wednesday we're supposed to do plyometrics. Well, so James. So I took James upstairs. I have little hops, I have these little things and we're working on his speed. And Thursday he said to me oh, I, you know, I would have scored that run if I was a little faster. He said that Thursday and I said well, that's why I told you to train. On Wednesday. I said are you willing to do what it takes to do what you want to do?
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:And I said and that's the formula, that's it, it's fucking simple.
Speaker 1:I? That's exactly what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:And then he's like well then, let's train today. When we get home, we'll train today. So yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:It's like it's aligned action.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I want a goal.
Speaker 2:That's why we're just saying it kind of like. I'm like when you said what you said, I'm like, hold up. This is kind of the same thing I say, but in a different, in a different, like a different way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, it's. It's. To me it's like looking at from like a broader, a broader lens that also there is. The universe is at play, yeah. Yeah. Right and that that to know that. So, if you have a heartfelt desire that you're going to pursue, you're going to have to take aligned action and you're going to have to be okay, living in the unknown which is scary Like.
Speaker 1:I don't know sometimes, am I going to make it this month? I don't know. I might not know Cause I, but I'm. I have to trust that I am because I'm in alignment and because I'm taking action every day and I'm doing everything necessary and delaying gratification and making cautious choices every day, that I'm going to be successful.
Speaker 2:I have no doubt in my mind that I'm going to be successful to have, you also have to have that confidence right of course it comes back to the mindset, the mindset and everything else yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 2:Like I just like, you know, like when I, when I like, because I've been in sales, I've never gotten a paycheck in my life, like from college to now. So you, you know, 25, 26 years, I never worked for anybody. So, like when I was a trader, this is that like you do work for somebody, but you really don't. Yeah, right, it's always it's you, it's you, it's you and I always, you know, I was always switching, not switching jobs, but like, okay, this is this, this is this. I never had a problem just being like, you know, I'm going to do it. Like you know, like when Sophia was like, hey, my partner's leaving, do you want to do this? I was just like okay, I'm like I just got to work harder than everybody else. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm coming from a spot where I I always tell people, if you succeed in one thing, it's just rinse and repeat, like, just remember how you did it before and just change the widgets to another type of widget and just do the same thing. It's interesting that you have to have that thought process. Plus, you have to have the work ethic and then, talking to people in commission jobs, everyone's like oh, jason, you're this or you're successful or you're this, this, this. I'm like dude, I work my tail off. I'm like it just doesn't happen and everyone's like. People like what you're coaching is a little bit different, because you really need to pull into yourself and people don't want to do that.
Speaker 2:But it's interesting when I go to coaching for sales, like I'll be asked like somebody will be like hey, you know we're doing this coaching thing, can you come kind of show some camaraderie? But I'm like, yeah, no worries. So I go. It kind of like also resets my goals, like I don't mind people telling me what I need to do all the time. It kind of just re-energizes you. Yeah, you know, I do this, do this, get back to your roots. But everyone always comes up to me and goes well, what about this, what about this? And I'm like well, what do you do? Like what's your daily routine?
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Like you know, I get in the office at 8 or 5. I have a list of five things I do. I do the same five things every day. I write them down. I have them on my desk five things I do every morning. On top of that, I write it down in my planner like a psychopath every day and then I sort of scratch them out, even though I know I'm going to do it. I scratch them out as I do that. I'm like do you do anything like that? They're like no, I'm like what do you expect?
Speaker 1:I love that you're saying this, because it goes back to what we said at the beginning about leading an intentional life.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying Intentional, like I tell that to my kids all the time. I'm like you have to have, you have to have like a path, like you have to have, and then once you have intention and once you have a path, you do not have anxiety. I tell that to will. All the time you're anxious, I say because you're fucking all over the place, yeah, I go.
Speaker 1:When you wake up, it's this, this, this, this yeah like lee is militant, like that, well, militant well, also, like with that, we don't want to be rigid either.
Speaker 1:We want to actually mix up our routine to create I've got less, I've got more creativity I got unrigid at like 45 but I was like like I ate the same meal for like 10 years yeah, and I'm so glad you're bringing this up because I want people to also know that that is it that will kill your creativity. I am all. I am a hundred percent. My lifestyle is intentional. I wake up at basically the same time every day I meditate, I do breath, work, I chance, I go to the gym and then I start my work day or eat healthy.
Speaker 2:Can people be happy and not exercise? I don't think they can.
Speaker 1:Absolutely not. Thank you, are you kidding me? You have to take care of the physical Work out.
Speaker 2:It's not that hard you cannot be happy and you cannot be successful. I mean real success.
Speaker 1:You have to take care of all parts of you. You have to.
Speaker 2:And if you don't work out, that means that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot look at yourself and say I need to do this, and if you don't work out and you can't hold yourself accountable. I period end of story.
Speaker 1:It doesn't even matter what you what it is. It's just move your body. Yeah. I have a client I she's 73, she's the cutest thing ever. Her goal in the morning is to meditate in bed. Uh, take her coffee around the block so she can move her body, come back and journal and then she gets to decide whatever she wants throughout the day, but as long as it has to do with some movement, she can't be staying in her house.
Speaker 2:I just just can't. I people cannot get their life together if they don't, if they're not there physically. We haven't gotten into the food. That's a whole discussion.
Speaker 1:We can. That's a whole another podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the food is like. I think like everything you're saying is fantastic. If you don't change your diet, everything you're talking about is just pissing in the wind.
Speaker 1:It's all we are. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, which means that we aren't just one thing, we're multidimensional, we have, we're physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. We are, we are all of those things, which means you need to take care of all of that. That's why, in coaching I do it holistically we look at each one of those and what does that look like and how is it showing up right now? And let's address the whole person yeah because without that you're just a fragment yeah, you're like you're missing this and that and you're never like a car that doesn't have tires or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:You have like one tire on your car missing from your car.
Speaker 2:The workout thing. I just can't and I'm not talking about people have to become like yacked and this and that you got it. And I think for me, like even when I walk the dog, I like feeling my movement. I like feeling that my brain is telling my body how it needs to go to get certain places. I find that amazing, Like the, the connection between the brain and the muscle and how you're teaching your body to do stuff.
Speaker 1:I'm going to add on to this. So say you, just like your movement is walking your dog, you walk people. So people are going to walk their dog, unconsciously, so they're in their head, they're reviewing, like, all of the things that they need to do. They're talking dirty to themselves, negatively, yeah, and they're doing it unconsciously. They're just story after story, instead of walking the dog with presence and being conscious.
Speaker 2:It's really funny you say that. So I was walking the dog with Will when Nikki was away and I'm walking the dog and he just pulled out his phone, blah, blah, blah. I'm like put your phone away and he's like why? I'm like fuck bro, just look around. I'm like look at like for me. I look at architecture, I look at small bricks, I look at like how people do their windows, then I look at the trees and then I look at like how squirrels are playing. Like I don't think about anything other than what is around me. Like like I think a terrible thing is when kids get into cars I don't let them pull their phones out, thank God, and they're like well, what should we do?
Speaker 2:I'm like just fucking look, talk, I would forget even talk, but like there's, there's so much life that's occurring that you can just look, look at that person. How do they walk? Why do they walk like that? Yeah, look at this store. What do?
Speaker 2:they sell there. Yeah, I just sit like, just sit there and just my philosophy teacher I have a minor philosophy, he was the the best said to me he goes sometimes you just need to mental masturbate and you just sit there and you just let your mind go and you just look at stupid things and you just you know why is that tree red? Like, look at this, this tree, is that tree dying? Look how big that tree. Like like when I walk Kobe other than I'm in the city so I figured what the hell's around me. Sometimes it gets a little hairy, but I just like, I kind of like, if kids are playing, I just like watch them play soccer. Like look, at that Isn't that fun.
Speaker 2:They're having a good time, like people at the gym talking to people on their phone. The fuck are you doing? You can't spend 30 minutes without being on the phone I know, I know turn some music on, get lost in a voice, yeah, and feel your body yeah, I agree, I'm with you on all of that.
Speaker 1:It's living a conscious life that people are not. They're living in the unconscious. They're just not aware, they're not staying present. They they're waking up, they're rushing, they're like stress and all those stress hormones are being released day after day after day, which is creating more blocks in the body. And just people are just, they're not creating their life, they're just living. They're living, they're not creating.
Speaker 2:See, I think you could possibly to get back to it. You could possibly have a job that you don't love but still be living like in every other aspect and still enjoy all that life's around you and say, okay, this is what I need to do for this time to get some money together. I'm going to do this, this, this. But man, I, you know, when I'm on the bus going to work, I just love looking at these. You, I just love looking at these. You know, like you said, the old lady that walks I watch this old lady that walks every day. Like when I'm walking the dog, I'm like I just kind of look at everyone that walks. I remember that person from last week.
Speaker 1:They're walking everybody do this, you know that reminds me of when you're talking about that is that we are. So whatever we have going on internally is reflected out into our environment, is reflected out into our environment. So if we're having an experience at work where we're having conflict or we're unhappy, it's because there is a part of us internally that needs to be addressed. Because if you showed up at your job present, joyful, in tune, relax, calm, not rushing in you would show up different and people have to respond to you differently because that's the energy that you demand. But if you come in like, oh, I hate this job, come in with negative thinking, I'm not good enough, nobody listens to me, or whatever the stories you have going on, then that's exactly how you're showing up energetically.
Speaker 1:And people respond to you that way.
Speaker 2:It's very interesting to say that, because I was talking to somebody and we were talking about like you know, like, oh, I can't sell this place, this, this, this and I was telling someone like I mean, I talk a lot to my kids. I was like I don't. I think they were my kids, I think one of my kids was bitching about something. So I kind of always put it like you know, man, I go, I go to work. 95% of the time it's a failure. Right, I'm selling homes.
Speaker 2:I'm going to show a house, sometimes 50 times, a hundred times. I'm looking for the one person that likes it. Right, I've gone to homes and 50 people in a row have pooped on a home, the same home every time, and you leave and you're just like but when I go the next time, I have to go like this person is going to buy, the person walking in the store is going to buy this house, because I need to change that energy. So when they walk in to like this, I'm saying in my head, like George Costanza say, it's not a lie if you believe it, and I just like, literally, I'm like I'm going to lie in my head so much that I'm going to have the most amazing. This person's had the most amazing experience there.
Speaker 1:It reminds me that you're doing a little touch of what's called mental rehearsing and like setting an intention and believing as if it's already happened.
Speaker 2:I have to do that Like every showing, especially if it's like something like that. People are just really down on. And I know, when I have a bad house, like, how do I change that? I'm going to change my mental, like your approach, like I'm going to change this when I'm there so people can feed off that Cause we, you know how many times have you gone in to buy something? The salesperson's like you're like, well, I don't want to buy that. This person hates this place, this person hates this product, or they would have some energy, right. People are always like, oh, you have great energy. I'm like, well. People are always like, oh, you have great energy.
Speaker 1:I'm like well, I sell things for a fucking living, yeah you ain't selling anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I work at a morgue so I'm just like it's just really interesting, like it all gets, like all this all gets back to like what you said in the start if you're not, if everything's not aligned and you don't do the exercise and the food, you're not aligned, you're just never going to be happy and it's a shame. It's such a shame that people have to go through this life, which is so miraculous, and just not enjoy it Right.
Speaker 1:Most people don't enjoy their life and they're just so.
Speaker 2:this is not like a. This is not like a a negative, but people are just so weak and they don't have to be well, they've, you know.
Speaker 1:I think it also not only. Yes, I agree with you 100, but we're not taught to have this mindset from an early age. We're not taught to.
Speaker 2:My parents did.
Speaker 1:Well, most people's parents don't, and if you look around at a lot of kids. But why don't they?
Speaker 2:I heard the most amazing thing from.
Speaker 1:Why don't they? This is a good question.
Speaker 2:I have an amazing thing that an athlete said on Instagram and it like blew my mind. And he said kids aren't lazy, Parents are Exactly.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:They're lazy Parents.
Speaker 1:Because they're not creating an intentional life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well they don't want to. No, you know what it is, you know how hard it is to be a good parent.
Speaker 1:It's a fucking bear. I have, no, I don't even have kids. But I've raised a thousand of them.
Speaker 2:It's a bear, it's so intense it's so easy to be a bad parent and and it's like almost like wanting to be ignorant. It's really easy, like I did a podcast on like a week ago where we're talking about ignorance and this guy, jason Wagner, and we were talking about people and I'm like people love being ignorant, and I mean in the true sense of the word, not like, oh, you're ignorant, you're a bad person, no, it's just. It's just life Blissful. Yeah, life is easy and ignorant. I was talking with my friends and we were talking about whatever this that and I'm like doesn't that bother you? And he's like man, he's like. His quote was I just want to go home and have a cruise light. Wow, one of the smartest people I know, too, like brilliant. And he's like I just don't want to deal. I'm like but how can you do that? Like, how can you? How can you not like, how can you not deal? How can you remain in that state?
Speaker 1:It's exhausting to maintain that state of disconnection? Yeah, but. But. But it seems like. It seems like everyone does it. So is it exhausting? Yes, because everybody's always saying I'm exhausted, I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm overwhelmed, I'm anxious, I'm fearful, I can't sleep, I've got gut problems.
Speaker 2:But being non-ignorant is exhausting too.
Speaker 1:But isn't that part of?
Speaker 2:ignorance being non-ignorant, I'm saying like oh, say that again. I said, being like being educated, being informed is extremely exhausting. Like what I'm saying is it would be easy for me to keep my kids ignorant, right? It's easy to keep them uninformed or just to be like hey, just you know, just just. I don't, I I it's hard to be like. It's hard to be like it does take more effort.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's tough, it takes more effort, yes, but the end result of it is an easy life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's easier, it's ease, it's easy life. Yeah, it's easier, it's ease, it's flow, it's abundance, yeah, but the parents don't receive that benefit. That's only for the kid. That's why the parents don't do it. Okay.
Speaker 2:Right, a parent's not going to be like, hey, let's talk, like they just don't. Parents don't want to tell their kids you know, hey, you're not really good at math, let's sit down and let's work on this Let me and this is why this is what you need to do, and not only this is what you need to do you're you're 11 years old. You're eight years old. I'm going to have to check up on you because you're eight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm going to have to teach you how to talk to yourself, so that you believe that you can actually do this on your own 's.
Speaker 1:Just a parent can't do that for themselves, they're not gonna be able to do it for their kids. That's why I stopped working with families is because families want me to fix their kids no, you have to fix the parent you have to. You have to work on yourself, because when you work on yourself, then your child is going to respond period yeah I mean, obviously there's the extreme cases, but there's always, there's always a majority.
Speaker 1:If you, as a parent, work on yourself, then your child is going to have a direct impact. And I can say that as an adult, because when I started working on myself and doing all my energy work coaches, therapy, all the things I showed up to my family differently which allowed me to have a deeper relationship with my mom and my sister and my grandmother, because I started doing energy work and then, all of a sudden, they started being open to energy work. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's like we've affect our, our bloodlines. So whoever decides in the family to break the cycle of whatever it is that you need to break, I happen to be the one then that trickles down into your family I agree.
Speaker 2:If you don't like your, if you don't like, if you think your kids don't act properly, you don't like your kids. That's a direct reflection of you.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:And then you need to turn around. I specifically which I won't get into because they're long stories but I can specifically know three instances over the last 15 years where I look back and I'm like, man, I did this, I said this, and this is the reaction I got and that was the worst thing to say. And when that arised again, I was like I'm not going that way. I'm going at you, right, I'm not saying your failure is because of this excuse, this excuse, this excuse. If you're failing, it's going to be tough in my house, but I'm going to be like this is why you're failing. It's you. You're in control of that. I'm not going to sit here and blame somebody else, because once I blamed somebody once and then I saw my kid other instances blame others for what he did, for not for what he did he didn't do anything wrong but for his shortcomings. Now, oh my god, I go. I mean, I made an excuse for him yeah and look what happened.
Speaker 2:Now it's excuses yeah and I was like, oh, I'm like no, no, you yeah and I like, I just like. And I think every parent, if they take a second, will be like hey, I said this and this is the reaction I got from my child. Is that the reaction I want? Yeah we have to pull back and be like hey and repair it, yeah, with your child oh, I did, I, and I said to him.
Speaker 2:I said you know, I said this is what I said when you were in fifth grade and because I said that you said other things that were not the right thing to say, not swear words, but attitude. Right. Like basically told accountability issues right. Like parents don't want to hold their kids accountable, right. So parents will be like, oh, you know, it's because this person doesn't like you or this person or this person, and I would never make that excuse myself and I made that excuse for my kid to help him. But in turn, a year and a half later, that arose again and I was like no, no, and I said to him. I said you know, I shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 2:You didn't do this, this or this because you weren't this, this, this, and I'm like, and that's the truth, as bad as it sounds to hurt, as much as that hurts, that's the truth. I'm telling you this now because this is how it's going to be in the future. And parents don't, parents don't I don't know if they don't want to, like I don't know if they don't want to know that their kid is not good or not smart or has issues. I don't know if they don't want to know it or they're like you know, I'm going to deny it. So it's not a reflection on me, right, because you're not helping your child, denying it, you're only encouraging it.
Speaker 1:I think they're just stressed and they don't have coping skills. And they don't have, they don't know what to do because they're so chaotic inside Period, they're just so so chaotic inside period.
Speaker 2:They're just so such a mess inside that.
Speaker 2:So I think, like I think the first thing like to kind of I mean we could probably talk for hours yeah, good, I think that I think the main thing is is you have to get order, you have to bring down the chaos, you have to really start looking like you said the, so let's say the subconscious, the unconscious and the conscious, and then really say I need to hold myself accountable to these things. Why Constantly questioning yourself in layers until you get to a point where you're like you either cry.
Speaker 1:You definitely need to be crying yeah.
Speaker 2:Or you get happy, or you figure things out and then break it back up to there.
Speaker 1:Well, it's about building self-awareness. You need to understand your motivations, you need to understand your why. You need to understand how your body works. You have to be connected to your body. You have to know the signals that are happening in the body um and then respond to those. And you have to have structure. You have to have an intention, you have to have a purpose and all of that, and you have to do practices. You have to do something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, this is like anything in life. You got it's repetitions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, this is like anything in life, it's repetitions.
Speaker 2:Right, you have to you have to whatever that looks like for you. Like be intentional about it Be intentional. I do like that Everything. I say that to my kids all the time. Like everything. They look at me crazy. I'm like. I'm like I don't understand why you don't do something if it's not creating something. Like what are you doing? Like, if you're doing this, why are you doing it? I don't think, and I don't think it's wrong to tell that to your children.
Speaker 1:As long as it doesn't turn into the belief that I am never doing enough and I have to be perfect. As long as it doesn't turn into that.
Speaker 2:So I will tell you what I tell my kids Because.
Speaker 2:I see a lot of perfectionism. No, so what I tell my kids is, if you want something, you have to do stuff that gets you to that spot. I always say to my kids you don't have to be that person, you don't have to be the greatest, you don't have to be the smartest, but if you want to, you have to do things that get you there. And then I said and if you don't get there, if you're not the greatest and I mean that for, like, the totality, like if you're not, if you're not, if you didn't get to where you want to go, but everything you did was intentional and everything was at its best to get to there I said that is your greatest spot, right there, and that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Then you're successful, then you're successful.
Speaker 2:Not everybody's going to be Michael Jordan, not everybody's going to be Albert Einstein, but are you maximizing who you are, your talent and what's your truth? That's all I say to them. Your truth, yeah, are you maximizing your path? That's it, because the last thing you want to do is I tell my kids all the time I said. The last thing you want to do is look back in 20 years and go damn, I could have done this, this, this and this. I said because there's nothing worse than regret.
Speaker 1:Well, you should never regret anything in your life, because you've always you had to go through it in order to get to where you're at, to learn the experience, but I want to go through it in order to get to where you're at, to learn the experience.
Speaker 1:But I want you to add on to that with your kids is ask why do you want to be the best in this? Tell me why and keep asking them why, because I guarantee you there's some component that they want to please somebody else. I want to be the best at this. Why do you want to be the best at this? I don't know like, because a lot of people are trying to please other people for.
Speaker 2:For me. I always want to beat myself, that's it. Like I don't go to the gym to please anybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you have an adult mind. Okay. Yeah. So just start asking your kids well, why do you want that? Tell me.
Speaker 2:Do you truly want that?
Speaker 1:Or you think that's what I want you to want? Right, because we get those messages from our parents. Yeah, and that's where that conditioning comes from.
Speaker 2:I always say to them I'm like, listen, you don't have to do this, but if you're gonna do it, let's do it yeah, because I'll support you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I say that all the time yeah, I said I will drive you from here to california, but I'm only doing it if you want to do it. I think at some point and I've had coaches tell this to me at some point from like first, like someone told me, from like first grade to sixth or seventh grade, the normally the parent wants it more than the child. And then eventually what I've noticed, that seventh, eighth and freshman year, if the child doesn't want something more than you, it just falls apart. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, like I always told my kids up to 13, you're going to do what I asked you to do. I grew up to 13. Yeah, you're on your own. I said but up to 13,. You don't know what you want. Yeah. You know, like my son, my oldest son wanted to quit baseball half a dozen times. Now it's like a passion.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Basketball quit. The kids want to quit all the time.
Speaker 1:No, you're not going to quit Cause it gets too hard. Yeah, we're going to.
Speaker 2:We're not quitting on our team. Yeah, you're not quitting. Yeah, get through it At 13,. Like at 13,. Will's like I hate baseball. I'm playing more. Okay, you're done From a guy who was a multiple all-star. It's like I just don't like it. Yeah, but I made him play. Yeah. And then I was like done, okay, you're done, I don't know. Yeah, it's good stuff. Good stuff, yeah, I was listening.
Speaker 1:I'm like charged. I am too that was so good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, All right. How do people get a hold of you?
Speaker 1:Maria LynnMcNabb. Okay, that would be the best way. You could just DM me from there, dm you there.
Speaker 2:Do you have like a work email?
Speaker 1:Yes Maria at bluelifeflowcom is my work email.
Speaker 2:All right, thank you so much. This is awesome, it was good. It was good. Any questions, ask Maria. For some reason your brain is scrambled, sorry, listen to it again Multiple times. It pushes it out better. Anyways, be good. Thank you so much for listening. Thanks.