Would you believe that your mind holds the key to peak performance in sports and life? This week, we promise to take you on a fascinating journey exploring the power of mental performance. We're thrilled to have Shannon Suffoletto, a renowned mental performance consultant, joining us to offer unique insights into the mind-body connection.
Our engaging conversation ranges from the artistry of health and mental health to the elation one achieves when they find their zone. We explore how focusing on the body can lead to a shift in the mind, bringing about a profound sense of pleasure and peak performance. We delve into methods to train individuals, especially those under 15, to be present in the moment, sharing practical ways to overcome the anxiety associated with comparison.
Additionally, we delve into pertinent topics in the world of youth sports, emphasizing the importance of emotional understanding. We probe into the pressures children face and how parents can avoid imposing their own needs on their children’s sports journey. We also underscore the significance of allowing athletes time to recuperate, both mentally and physically, to prevent injuries and maintain peak performance. Finally, we address the sensitive issue of parents blaming coaches, refs, and programs for their children's performance, highlighting how this can distort reality and impede improvement. So, buckle up and prepare to glean valuable insights into the world of peak performance in sports and life.
Would you believe that your mind holds the key to peak performance in sports and life? This week, we promise to take you on a fascinating journey exploring the power of mental performance. We're thrilled to have Shannon Suffoletto, a renowned mental performance consultant, joining us to offer unique insights into the mind-body connection.
Our engaging conversation ranges from the artistry of health and mental health to the elation one achieves when they find their zone. We explore how focusing on the body can lead to a shift in the mind, bringing about a profound sense of pleasure and peak performance. We delve into methods to train individuals, especially those under 15, to be present in the moment, sharing practical ways to overcome the anxiety associated with comparison.
Additionally, we delve into pertinent topics in the world of youth sports, emphasizing the importance of emotional understanding. We probe into the pressures children face and how parents can avoid imposing their own needs on their children’s sports journey. We also underscore the significance of allowing athletes time to recuperate, both mentally and physically, to prevent injuries and maintain peak performance. Finally, we address the sensitive issue of parents blaming coaches, refs, and programs for their children's performance, highlighting how this can distort reality and impede improvement. So, buckle up and prepare to glean valuable insights into the world of peak performance in sports and life.
And the biggest error I made is Will went from the top team to second team and instead of me saying these are the reasons you went down and this is what you need to get better at, I said you went down because that coach, that program, is awful. They don't know what they're doing. You're this, you're this, you're this and it's them. And I watched him turn to I'm not doing anything wrong. They did and I don't need to get better. What's the five P's? Do you remember it? Proper preparation prevents powerful performance. There you go. It doesn't matter how much money we get, If we don't close, it's no money right? So no close is no money. I'm everything that I am because of my dad's death and I wouldn't be as successful without his death. Welcome to the Jason theory. I'm extremely excited to have a friend on, a coach of my six year old son, a mentor for him, Shannon Saffoletto. Did I say that right?
Speaker 2:You did Nice.
Speaker 1:Mental performance consultant. I find this extremely interesting, even if your kid's not involved in sports. Mental performance has to do with anything, even just being happy period, it's all part of it. We will tackle a little bit more of the sports side of it and how to deal and how to parent better than I did the first time around and the second and the third I've gotten it. I'm good on the third, but we're going to. We're going to run right into that. So let's talk about introduce yourself and then let's talk about origins, how you got into this and like your passion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank, you for asking. Yes, it's been a journey I guess I'm about 24 years now in Chicago. So this this August was 24 years and I moved here to go to graduate school. One of five programs in the nation was Columbia College, chicago, and had dance movement therapy as a master's degree. Oh, wow, okay, I was a dancer, so my my relationship to sports and the discipline and all that really does is related to the arts, and in the arts and in dance I was a dance and psychology major.
Speaker 2:Okay, always wanted to work with people always wanted to be in the field of psychology and when I learned that I could actually marry the two to study dance movement therapy the belief that the mind and body are connected, you facilitate the change in the body. The mind changes facilitate change in the mind. The body changes. They work together. But really honing in specifically on the work in the body, using the, the, the tools in the body, increasing body awareness to create those shifts as a dancer, was just amazing to me. So that's how I arrived in Chicago. Everything I do, my work, is always stemmed in the mind body connection. That's important to me. The artistry of the work and of health and of mental health is important to me. So my roots are in dance, the mind, body connection and mental health. That's really where I started. It's so interesting you say that because, like there's like so many thoughts just hit me.
Speaker 1:I could talk an hour on what you just said and we don't have to do anything else, right, but it's, I mean it's really interesting because when you think about anything that has to do with complex movements, posture, balance, it's all being. It's all being, it's all being in that calm mental state to perform those movements. I mean I think about, you know, my eldest is over the last six months has started getting really into weightlifting. And when I think about that, what, like, when I sit on a bench or I sit somewhere to lift, I don't think about the weight, I literally just get into a zone and feel the muscle and what it's doing. And when you really get to that point, not only do you have these massive gains, you don't get hurt, but like that's when you really feel it.
Speaker 1:And people are always like people golf, do this, I lift weights, that's what I love to do. And when you're, when you're lifting weights or you're dancing, the pleasure of feeling your body and doing it and then performing it, it's like no other high. I mean it's awesome. So, like you know, and I'm a big mind over matter person, like I'm, like I'm just not going to get sick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I don't.
Speaker 1:And I don't Right and I just like I'm not going to get sick because I think I think people underestimate how much power your mind has over the physical.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but also interesting. The way you described that, though, was more of the physical over the mental. Yeah, you know because you really talked about, like what I'm interested in and what I'm really is. I'm being in my body. Being in the body, so I'm really not allowing the mind to take over. I'm actually integrating them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's great they're together, together.
Speaker 2:And when we're together, when that togetherness and integration happens, anything is possible. We are our most authentic selves, our truest selves. Peak performance, you know, is possible. The ability to be in the present moment is happening. I didn't have to tell you how to do that. You did that by focusing in your body, not on it, but in it.
Speaker 1:How do you, how do you train people? I mean, this is a long question too, but how do you get to a point where you can get people to be in the present? And what are exercises for 15 and under to be present? Because once you're present, everything else is cake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it really is right. Yeah, it comes from there, yeah, once you're present, you can accomplish anything right.
Speaker 1:Right, you know, like, what can you achieve if you knew you could achieve? Yeah Right, If you know you can do it and you're present and you don't worry about failing or this or that, what, like. I've read your site and there's some 10 things and you have this. But, like, what are the main things that you hit on?
Speaker 2:I'll tell you what my favorite way is.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I call it the outside in or the inside out approach. So how to become present in the moment. It could start from the inside, and that could be like a breath you know, to come back into the body. And then you start really investigating all the places in the body, all the way through, from the center, all the way out through the fingertips. And what I always cue, when I start with the center of the body or starting from the inside out and starting with the breath, is notice the places in between. So there's, you know, your shoulder and there's your fingertips. But what about every place in between, right, to almost fill up the body with that breath, all the way through the head, through the feet, out through the limbs, right, and then there's the outside in. So, particularly for somebody who may be battling anxiety, it's not always the best idea to start with the breath. What if that induces just a panic moment?
Speaker 2:You know you start to breathe and it, like it does work, more harm than good, right? But if we start from the outside, pushing my feet into the floor, feeling where I'm sitting in my chair, pushing my hands into the table, I start to stabilize my body and I can slowly bring my awareness in right. So, inside out, outside in, and I work depending on where the person is and their ability to tolerate what works best for them. But I think, knowing you have two possibilities the end to the out, the out to the end they do the same thing. It's the process of becoming aware that I think helps bring you into that present moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the anxious part.
Speaker 1:It just seems like everyone is getting more and more anxious as there's more just information flowing to you right, like this is coming at you. This is coming at you. It's like no one can just go and do something now without 700 people knowing it and that you know that it's doing it. Right Like I've noticed that the most pressure is coming not from people to perform, but it seems like the pressure is coming from other people knowing if you can perform, yeah. And that's the sad part. It's like they can't. Kids can't say, hey, listen, this is who I am, this is what I do. I don't care what you do, but this is what I'm doing. And I always, like over the last couple of years, stressing to my kids you could control yourself. And the minute you could control yourself and continue to be a better version of yourself, you'll continue to grow. But if you look at how people are looking at you, man, it'll just shrink you, it'll just, it'll just. It destroys you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I could feel it even in the way you started to speak about, like the anxiety. What happened? Your breath constricted. Yeah, and you were thinking about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Those tension levels changed in your body, that ability to access your truest sense of self like totally shifted because the anxiety got in the way the body tensed up. There really is a direct relationship between what is going on in our mind and the level of tension and where tension is held in the body, and that might be different for you than for me, but the correlation is there.
Speaker 1:Like when you you have a high performing son that plays sports at a young age. So like when that anxiety hits, and maybe maybe the anxiety doesn't hit, maybe it's something, and it may be. Maybe it's something where you hear, hey, this guy's really good, Omnet is good, or I don't know if I can do this the comparison, the comparison. I think parents have to figure out. I mean, I think the comparison is the. I mean I don't know what's worse comparisons or Snapchat, maybe?
Speaker 2:the same Right right. With Snapchat is basically a different version of comparison, but.
Speaker 1:I just don't know, like, what are your thoughts on how to get away from that? What are ways to take the conversation when you hear a comparison right? When I hear a comparison, yeah, how do we, how do we shift out of there?
Speaker 2:It's interesting because I don't want to take it fully off the table. I'm always good with something until it's not healthy for the person anymore. So comparison gives me perspective about where I might stack up.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying.
Speaker 2:But do we?
Speaker 1:want to stack up at that age.
Speaker 2:Maybe, but it also comparison can drive competition, and I'm okay with that too. To a degree. I'm okay with things until they're debilitating to the person and until they've shut down, until they're overwhelmed and they're not able to use that information.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're doing comparison and it's working, and all of a sudden it turns.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:How do you mold that conversation a different way? Like what are things that people, parents can say? It's like you know, hey listen, johnny made the A team travel, you made the B team travel. Or you know how do you say well, I'm as good as him or I'm not as good as him. Like how do you shift that? As soon as it becomes debilitating? How do we shift that conversation?
Speaker 2:I like to bring it back to kind of what you talked about earlier, which is like coming back to you and what being very specific about what I noticed my son did well, or even a kid on the team who might be comparing themselves and frustrated, it'd be like, well, that's interesting. You're right, johnny did do X, y and Z mate X, Y and Z team. That's interesting and that's great for him. What I noticed you did today was amazing you know, you did this.
Speaker 2:You contributed to the team in this way. You know you threw the ball better than I've ever seen you throw the ball before. Your throws were more accurate. You've been really working on that, you know nice job Like just allowing that, and that's one of your points. Yes, what's your website again?
Speaker 1:The Body, mind Combine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, body, mind Combine.
Speaker 1:But then you also have an article, and one of the articles, when I was reading it, is that, yes, that is one thing that I've over the last three years that I have shifted on. Yes, okay, I'm going to sit here and listen to you bitch for 10 minutes one of my sons about X, y and Z and I let them vent and when they're done venting, I'm like okay, but you know what I saw you do today. That was awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and maybe they don't want to hear it, right.
Speaker 1:Because a lot of times you just tell me like honestly like if James does something good and I'll be like hey, oh, okay you, you know you did this, but you did X, Y and Z. They don't want to hear it. But then I noticed like 10 minutes later they come back and go yeah, I did do that right.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I go yeah, man, I go, that's. That's you did. Don't worry about the other stuff, you did that right.
Speaker 2:Here's another thought that and I almost modeled this just with you a moment ago, my son I hear when you, when you talk about Johnny and how he does at baseball compared to you, it feels like you look a little sad to me, you know it feels like it's it's hard on you, right, like I noticed these changes in your mind and body when you talk about.
Speaker 2:Johnny, do you want to tell me a little bit about how that makes you feel you know what I mean and kind of meet them where they are in order to sort of shift them from that place?
Speaker 1:Oh, I like that. I think my sons would punch me, but I do like that, you know, because that's different, go there Like instead of me, and you bring that up on your points too, exactly Like the hug and like, yeah, that's part of that co-regulation experience of like I see you, I see that that's hard.
Speaker 2:It sounds like you're comparing yourself directly to somebody else and when you do that, I notice your shoulders come down and you look like you're frowning and you're sad, and that it doesn't seem to me that's the place you want to play the game from. That's not the place you want to be in in order to play your best.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like that yeah. I've never, I've always just picked out posas, but like, like, let's share your feelings.
Speaker 2:Let's be there together in that moment to move you from that place.
Speaker 1:What if boys can do that? They can do it.
Speaker 2:But if girls does do that, he really truly does, you know, Because we're not giving them credit then for being in their feelings.
Speaker 1:And they are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they are. They just aren't used to being validated in it as much, you know. But, let's talk about that that moment where, like you see what me comparing does to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 2:Maybe I don't want to be in that place. Get them to ask those questions of themselves.
Speaker 1:I do like that. I'm going to try that. Yeah, like really soon Okay.
Speaker 2:They're already there, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1:Or it's in their head.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:They just need to. They just need to speak it out.
Speaker 2:And when they do, look what I just did, like, even feeling, I just took a big deep breath.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it starts to like, maybe, maybe I want to move out of that, maybe that doesn't work for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do like that.
Speaker 2:And then you can start to say, like I don't know if this comparison piece is serving you or maybe to some degree it is, and then it moves to a place it doesn't. But I'll tell you what you're doing. Some great things out there.
Speaker 1:What about parents that like that? You see, maybe kids you're coaching. No, I don't mean like coach coaching, but like coaching, like mental performance coaching. Like the parents that are pushing these kids, like we talked about, outside to these 24, seven in sports and not even time to breathe and stuff like that. What are the downsides of that? And, for a parent, what kind of space are they giving their child? I know it's different for everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But like I think there's at a point where you know a lot of us want to live vicariously through our children, I mean that's a huge problem. And how, if the child isn't performing like you think he should perform, you know we've gone over that validation stuff like that. But I think that's a different, without poo pooing on parents. I think that's a different parent. I think what we just talked about is someone that maybe has her head on straight.
Speaker 1:There's also another subset of people that are coming out and they're just harping on their children and I think that's creating, first off, a lot of animosity towards their parents. But at the same time, how does a parent step back and take that breath and say, okay, what do I need to do? That I'm doing wrong? You know the comparisons or pushing or saying you need to do this, this and this and this. I just don't think it's correct. And how does a parent check themselves?
Speaker 2:That's exactly what I was just going to say. I don't know how well received this tip might be by parents, but I think it's an important one and I have to recognize when, when we're putting pressure on our kids, when we're pushing our kids, whose need is it? Yeah, it's ours, it's most more than likely, it's our need as a parent for them.
Speaker 1:You know yeah.
Speaker 2:It's our unlived childhood dream. You know it's.
Speaker 1:Or us to be validated. Yeah, like a lot of times, I think you're in a parental group and you're trying to validate yourself and the hierarchy of the parents and you're like what am I doing?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it is. It's very much the pressure other parents are putting on other parents. I mean it's a microcosm of what the kids are experiencing happens in the parent space. I have had to stand up. I have legitimately been parent-chamed for making choices or supporting my kid in their choices not to play this season. You know we're taking a break, you are, you know. Yeah, it's crazy, we are.
Speaker 1:And I never realized it, like I didn't realize it, you know, 78 years ago with Lee. But now that I'm like redoing everything again, I sit back now and I'll be sitting with a bunch of parents and me and Nikky will be sitting there and I'll be like listening to stuff and I'll look at it and go you know, that was us seven years ago and it's just like you don't know you're in that and you don't know that it's overwhelming you until, like, you get to a point where you're like when you have a high school and you're like you know what they're six and seven and eight, none of this matters.
Speaker 2:And you know what I do. This is I legitimately do this when Brooks plays baseball and he makes like a kind of a bonehead player, it didn't go well and I'm super mad about it because I know he could have caught that ball or whatever I turn and I like let it all out. I did it as a coach and I do it as a parent, you know. And then I just discharge it and I think I might have freaked out a parent the other day when I just let it rip. I was like I can't believe this. He could have made that play. And I mean I was not mental performance, shannon, I was parent.
Speaker 1:Shannon, bad, you know.
Speaker 2:And then I was like, okay, I'm done with that. I hit my own reset button. I did not discharge that on him you know I did that in a completely separate space and the conversation I had with him off the field was a totally different conversation.
Speaker 1:Oh man, brooks was going down first base, he was running the second and I'm sitting down and just watching the game and I heard you go, brooks, you have to run, yeah. And I was like, okay, so she gets on him. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, how does?
Speaker 1:that work, cause I know where you're coming from, like I know what you do. And I'm like okay, I'm like, okay, how like you can't be totally like everything is okay.
Speaker 2:Oh no, you have to push too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is what I was thinking about. I do my best thoughts in the showers. I'm thinking about this conversation last night and I was like you know, it's gotta be a little different for you when you're talking about Brooks. And then I'm wondering how you go from Brooks and then go to someone who's not a high performer. Right Because Brooks is an outlier and you can do certain things, but then to shift that and talk to another person, is it hard.
Speaker 2:No, it isn't. Because you want to know why and this is what I think we all need to do, and it just goes back to the very beginning of this conversation is you're you and I'm me. I want you to perform to your best. You have to take it down to the individual, so I just recalibrate you know, to that person and their goals and their gifts and their talents, and what drives and motivates them. And that's just not the same.
Speaker 1:So, high performer or not, with three boys it's tough. I'm always like. It's always like Recalibrate, recalibrate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's tough Because there are three different people with three different sets of strengths and ways of being motivated and needs, and they're at three different developmental levels which is a whole nother layer to add into it. The way. What you learned from Lee is awesome, but may not directly lay out, because James is a totally different guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that was wondering. Like I was like, OK, well, it's like almost trying to be like a coach for this all pro person, and then saying, ok, at the same time I'm going to take these, these young kids, and figure out, like I know that I can't do this to them. So it just seems like it would be a little bit tough to do. But I guess if you just these are what your strengths are, let's, let's focus in on those strengths.
Speaker 2:And it was interesting, I had a conversation once with like, like a golf academy, and I was, I was, I really wanted to develop a program for them, for their beginners, people who are just new to golf, you know, and they kind of said to me they're not ready yet for the mental performance side.
Speaker 1:And I thought I think that should come before everything Wow you know what I mean. Like why not really? You know, because we.
Speaker 2:why not marry them as soon as you're learning the skill at the very basic level?
Speaker 1:If if, if I walked, I don't play golf, but if I walked into a place I said I wanted to learn how to play golf. The first thing that I think that coach should tell me that that pro know the course pro should be like hey, this is a very frustrating game.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And you're going to have ups and downs. It's you against yourself. Don't hate yourself. It take like. I would think that the mental spot would be, first and foremost, like when you you drop a kid off for trial. It's like, hey, just do the best.
Speaker 2:You like the mental first, just do the best you can Exactly, and I think that's why it goes back to your question of like does it matter if they're Necessarily a high performer or super skilled at that sport or not? Not really, because they're there and they're them and they they're. Who they are matters to me so so much, and their gift to the team or whatever they're trying to get from it, I think is really important.
Speaker 2:So just seeing that person, and also even even my own son, who might be a little bit more gifted athletically in one sport, it's not actually ringing true for all of them. So I recalibrate his relationship to one sport, then I do another sport. Not everybody's Jesse Owens you know right, but you know what. I also wanted to take us back a little bit to what you started talking about, about the like 24 seven pressure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure.
Speaker 2:I wanted to share a philosophy around that. Let's say somebody sprints, the sprinter has to slow down. Yeah, you know, there's this model in the in the movement world about like exertion and recuperation. We aren't building in any recuperation time for our kids and for our athletes in general, and that is of concern.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because we all have to exert and then recuperate.
Speaker 1:Well, they say that like I'm an NBA junkie, and they always say that they're like as science has gotten better and training has gotten better, injuries have gone through the roof, Because no one's just taking an off season and saying I'm just going to let my body recover and recover, so they're like I don't. They don't understand why we have so many more injuries. Yet people are in air chambers and cryo.
Speaker 2:We have all the tools right.
Speaker 1:All this bullshit Right, and people are just constantly getting hurt, now like instantly.
Speaker 2:Well, and there's your mind body relationship too, If not only are their bodies beat down, but so are their minds. Yeah so they're in overwhelm, they're in the stress response, they're in the anxiety response. So their body, their minds aren't, even emotionally, they're not able to recuperate, much less their bodies recuperating.
Speaker 1:At what point to talk about the recuperation? At what point do you think the parent needs to say I'm not going to tell you, you need to practice. It's time for you to start telling me I want to practice, like. I'm just wondering, like do you know?
Speaker 1:what I'm saying, like there's a like when, like at what point, like that's a struggle between my three sons, like my three sons, and they all did it differently, right, like Lee was I'm going outside, will has just turned to like I'm not, I'm not going to ask you, I'm just going, or I'm going to do this, like and James being sick, I'm like, hey, let's go, let's throw third to first and let's work on a release and our hop, step and this. But it's interesting, right, because I have three boys of all different ages. It's like you know when, when, when is it your turn to be accountable? And there may not be an answer, but I just it's. I always see people yell at people. Time to practice, time to practice. At some point you need to be accountable for yourself and you need to be accountable for how good you want to get, because we can push our kids as far like we can go 24, seven, at some point. If the passion doesn't come through them and they don't hold themselves accountable, they're not going to be good.
Speaker 2:That's just what it is.
Speaker 1:Because those people that have accountability there's and this is a discussion me and Nick, you have all the time. Oh, he's 12. I said Nicky, I see 12 year olds that get up and they do X, y and Z. Yep. And I said when I was 12, I did X, y and Z. I said so don't tell me. People can't hold themselves accountable. Have you ever thought about that Like?
Speaker 2:I have and I think that that is something His intrinsic motivation, his meaning Brooks as my sons to this, to anything getting getting him connected to intrinsic motivation anyway is of importance to me for anything. It's a dance. Right, it's a real dance. I don't ever want to push so hard that I kill the joy or that, yeah, and that make him hate something.
Speaker 1:But as Brooks at the point where he's like, hey, I'm going to go outside and just hit the stick for a little bit Because he's young to do that. I mean that would be, that would.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, sometimes I would say the other day, when he made like a, really he just totally missed a catch in the outfield and I lost my marbles over it. But to myself on, the side not at him, luckily, but interestingly he came off the field and at the end of the game looked at me and said I want to catch more pop flies right now. I keep recognized what he did, and he is coming home more and more and more saying that.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So again, I think it is. If we keep hammering our kids over and over with suggestions, we're never giving ourselves and them a space to evolve. We don't know where they're at.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't, because they're just taking your orders. Exactly, that's what I'm like, exactly so.
Speaker 2:I say sooner the better, give them space.
Speaker 1:Yeah, some accountability.
Speaker 2:If we say to them hey, listen, looks like you're kind of interested in getting better at this sport or, I don't know, reading at school, or whatever, right, you know, whatever it is, in order to do that you do have to put in some time outside of school, outside of practice, do you want to? But always, that choice is there, always, unless you're being tested on it or whatever. But again, we have to also help them understand that that will come with consequences, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So you may not make. The travel team is out of value to you, is out important to you. But do you see how much I'm saying? You, not me, is not me, this is not my agenda.
Speaker 1:It was so interesting. Lee was pretty much always a starter in basketball when he was young and then about six or seventh people six or seventh grade people started to grow and Lee's a late bloomer. He's starting to grow now but he wasn't growing and everyone kind of started getting 5'2", 5'3", 5'4", 5'5", 5'6" and they were playing for the championship and his travel and he only got like five minutes and they ended up losing and we were walking out and he just looked at me. It's like I just wish I had more time to play. You know, more playing time. I just looked at him and I said man, I said it's a zero sum game. I said the more minutes you get, you're pulling from someone else. And I said and to pull those minutes from someone else you got to be better than them.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I said just remember this. Like I remember, like it was yesterday. I was like just remember this feeling. If you want to get more minutes, these are the things that you have to do and you have to figure out. I said I love you either way. I said, but you got to figure out if you really want more minutes. And if you really want more minutes, there's a roadmap and you'll get as many minutes as you want.
Speaker 1:And it was an eye-opener for him. And then he started and he started and he started. And then that's when he started doing it himself. And then, when he got to freshman year, and then you're playing on the basketball team, your baseball team, and you're looking at all these people. I said, listen, you need to get physically here. There's some people and I say this there's some people that are just athletically and physically gifted, just gifted. And I was like the three of you are not six, five, six, six. You don't run four, two forties. I'm like, you're not there. I'm like but you can get there, do you want to get there? And it's a dance, it really is. It's a dance, like you said.
Speaker 1:And I had a really good conversation once with Lee's coach Between seventh and eighth grade. Who still coaches him is Jared Thabasi did a podcast with us too. We talked about travel, sports and stuff. And I said, and Jared looked at me once and I called him up and I said man, he's not as quick, he's not this. He's not this, he's not this. I said I don't know what to do and I would love your take on this. And I said to him when do I know that it's time to stop pushing? And it just is what it is. And Jared looked at me he goes, I'll never forget it. And he says let the game tell him. And it was like and I came home and I said that to Nikki and she's like yeah, she goes, let he goes. Jared says he's passionate, he says the game will let you know when it's time for you to leave. And I was like and that's literally been my motto To this day it's like absolutely.
Speaker 1:I just take like now. I'm like, and I and I, with your positive reinforcement, right and your half, pushing is what I do. I'm like, this is what you need to do. If you're not, I always quote them the game's going to pass you up.
Speaker 2:And I love that you built in sort of the that you didn't. You gave him the reality of the situation you have to, because I thank you for that, because I'm so real when I'm not real.
Speaker 1:My kids are like a few you're lying to us, right Like they get in the car. They're like I know I did this, this, this, this wrong. I'm like, yes, you need to do this. This foot was wrong here. You didn't box out Like I have to do that Because I did that from such an I was. So I don't want to say hard, but I was so honest with them from an early age that they just smell bullshit when I don't do it yes, yes.
Speaker 1:But I give them the roadmaps and how to on how to. This is what you need to do and the autonomy and the choice yeah.
Speaker 2:The other point I wanted to make about that that is occurring to me as I'm reflecting on what you're saying. In some experience I've had, not only with clients but with Brooks, is that sometimes what you're seeing not wanting to practice, not engaging in all of the drills fully to the level you know they're capable of is actually something else is going on, and often it's a confidence issue.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So let's not forget, right that something else could be behind that, that if we don't investigate the why, we're doing them a little bit of a disservice or sending them to someone like me to help investigate the why.
Speaker 1:Right yeah.
Speaker 2:Because it's like come on, do it, do it, do it. And then we're like just pushing up against them and really what I've learned in some occasions is it's like but I'm not doing this because I don't think I'm good enough and I'm scared to fail.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and I need to get underneath that and help him with that. And then the skills right there.
Speaker 1:As there are a couple tools that you're like okay, this is what we're going to start out with, or a couple questions that you asked that like if a parent, if a parent sees that, hey, this may be a confidence thing, or kind of like what Lisa in the podcast he's like when you lose passion for something, it's normally because somebody's bullying you. Yeah, yeah, this or this or that. Always tell Lee, don't let anyone bully you out of a passion. I said don't give you know what I say. Don't give them the satisfaction of governing your life. That's what I always tell them. I'm like, I'm always like, and I have some colorful language that I use.
Speaker 2:I'm like but I'm like.
Speaker 1:F them You're, don't let them pull that. So like what do you if a parent's like okay, that may be what's happening, confidence thing, how do you? How do you get at it?
Speaker 2:Always, always. It's actually pretty simple. It's based on what you observe. My an example I have is Brooks and hockey, where we noticed that he was cheating hockey drills like when go around the cone or what and we were kind of like sitting in the stand so frustrated and you know, of course, like kind of wanting to come down on him like he can do these drills. Why is he doing these drills? Hey, you know what I noticed today? That you kind of like like you kind of did the drills but like not all the way did the drills. Kind of humorous too, yeah, of like didn't go all the way around the cone, didn't exactly do what the coach said. I noticed the coach correcting you a couple of times what was going on with that. That's it.
Speaker 2:They'll tell you you know, they're going to be, you know, and literally it was like I don't think I could get there in time.
Speaker 1:I wanted to do this and do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I see that in basketball sometimes. Yeah, like they cut the corner, like that's not the drill.
Speaker 2:Ask them what it's about.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Don't project on them what it's about. Let them see if they can come to it, but it's based on what you observe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let the kid kind of lead the conversation.
Speaker 2:But like it's essentially kind of calling them out you know, because you saw it and you are curious. It's your curiosity about what you saw that gets them to be curious.
Speaker 1:Yes, not saying you didn't do it. It's like, hey, what? Like? How did this happen? Why be punitive? What was it?
Speaker 2:about for you. I'm just curious. I kind of believe you're fully capable of those drills. Yeah, you could do them. What was that about? Tell me more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do like that. That's definitely Be curious, yes.
Speaker 2:What you observe, what you saw, because they can't de-feud it. They know they didn't go around the cone.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They didn't go around. You saw them, you know. So what's that about?
Speaker 1:I do like that. That's a really good way to kind of get them and on top of it, you know, getting back to everything. It's kind of holding themselves accountable to the actions that they did.
Speaker 2:And you're just the mirror.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I wasn't really coming at him about judgment about that. I want to know. I'm investigating what that's about. I'm not judging it, I'm curious about it.
Speaker 1:I do like that.
Speaker 2:Because the more judgy and the more punitive we are, they just resist and they back up and we close our. It closes them off to us.
Speaker 1:How are you handling non-sport stuff? So let's talk about, like you said, confidence in scholastic, or confidence. I mean, do you run into things where people are like I have a hard time meeting friends or I have a hard time? This I always tell people when you're confident, it exudes, not the non-verbal exudes and people are just drawn to it. And people are drawn to that confidence and people want to be around that confidence. You know that's that leadership. So what do you see in terms of non-athletic stuff when it comes to grades or comes to friends? Are there other things and are there tasks or are there exercises that you talk to parents about?
Speaker 2:on that end, Typically, I'm always curious about just what has led up to the lack of confidence in that, like some things behind that, you know, was it just a recent past experience or whatever it was. Shame can be, shame and guilt are rough.
Speaker 2:Emotions you know if those are behind any of it. I also have noticed that if we can open up the door as parents to say like you're not letting me down, they want to perform well for us. They want, you know, they don't wanna let us down oftentimes. So actually, I just literally just worked with a professional artist about this. You know where they might wanna be like leaving the work that they're in right now, but like they recognize they need to talk to their mom about possibly separating from the professional work in the sport that they're doing. But that's so hard for them because they have their mom is paid for it you know and all of this and that.
Speaker 2:Now transfer all of that over to, like school math, writing, reading. I separate it into the half twos, the things you have to do. Sorry, you have to read.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like you just have to read. I understand it might not be what you feel the most confident at, but I'm gonna sit here with you. You know we're gonna work it through communicating with the teachers about that's also helpful.
Speaker 1:Like we've got a confidence issue here.
Speaker 2:The behavior that you're seeing is really dictated by a confidence issue. I never look squarely at a behavior. I look at what's behind the behavior to see if I can shift the behavior. I also like to see if the person thinks it's a problem. If the person doesn't think it's a problem, or the child doesn't think it's a problem, you're gonna get nowhere with it.
Speaker 1:So you have to identify. Wait, this is an issue, Do they?
Speaker 2:see this as an issue, because if they don't see it as an issue, I'm gonna find a workaround.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like the fact that you said I got it's not the problem, it's what's called the root of that problem and I would think academically it's a lot like a lot.
Speaker 2:It's the same, the same rules apply. Same rules apply. I mean how many?
Speaker 1:people are always like and you know and you know, do you think it's? Do you think it's? Sometimes parents saying, oh, you have a hard time with math? I hate saying that to people. Like don't say that, because then your kid's like it's okay that I'm not good at math. No, it's not, like let's just work on it and you're gonna get good. I think there's a-.
Speaker 2:And we're not gonna like all of the things really.
Speaker 1:I think it's a tricky. I think a lot of it is so tricky is parents take a certain angle that they shouldn't take. Like they take that angle, like hey, you know, I have a hard time learning math, or I have a hard time this, I have a hard time that. Yeah, some people are seven foot and it's really easy for them to dunk. Some people are six foot and if they do a lot of work they're gonna dunk. They're both performing the same thing.
Speaker 1:Someone just got there a little easier. It doesn't mean anything, but you can get there. I think a lot of times people parents give those excuses to their kids and the kids use the excuses to not perform. And I think that's what sucks sometimes.
Speaker 2:And I don't think that we're creative enough about the how we're learning. What if the barrier isn't? You're really fine at math. You're just not being taught or learning it the way you learn best.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because everybody has a way they learn best. This is why I love the mind-body connection so much. What's always with us is our mind and body right. So are they able to learn and understand math in an embodied way. Maybe it's a little too cognitive for them. You know what I mean. Like I think we also need to adjust to the learner themselves.
Speaker 1:How much? This is a total 180. How much? How many times do you find yourself saying I need to create confidence. And by creating this confidence, I'm going to say, hey, it wasn't. And is this OK to do? Like, if someone has a bad game, someone strikes out and James will come strike out. Well, the ump was terrible. Half of me is like, ok, I need confidence. I'll be like I don't want to see this terrible, but, like you know, what you had a couple of those pitches probably were balls that weren't striking and got you into a bad spot, and that's what led to the strikeout Like you got to. I think you have to play that game a little bit, but at the same time, not being a crutch where, like everyone, sucks.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, everyone else's fault.
Speaker 1:So, like it's like you got to say a little bit, because that's how I think you create the confidence, by saying OK, yeah, that wasn't your problem, you're really good, I think. Is that OK to do?
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, to some degree, maybe we have to play that game a little.
Speaker 1:But to be honest.
Speaker 2:I think confidence is created by controlling the variables you can control.
Speaker 1:OK so and just saying, listen, you can't do anything about the ump, everyone else have the same ump Right right. When that opportunity arises, take advantage of it. Swing yeah.
Speaker 2:Or you know let's. What can we learn from it is, where are they calling balls and strikes? You know what is this picture and also the best I can do is own that. It is still my up to bat.
Speaker 1:You know, like sitting with parents and I really this was like one of the big things that I wanted to get your two cents on and just get your thoughts and open conversation sitting with parents. The one biggest thing and I did this when Will was in fourth grade and I want to tell you it took me about three years of turning it from what I did. No, he was in third grade, so by sixth grade I had made I mean, I did one critical error and it took me two and a half years or three years unwind it. And the biggest error I made is Will went from the top team to second team and instead of me saying these are the reasons you went down and this is what you need to get better at, I said you went down because that coach, that program is awful. They don't know what they're doing, you're this, you're this, you're this and it's them.
Speaker 1:And I watched him turn to I'm not doing anything wrong, they did and I don't need to get better. And that was the like. I didn't realize that mistake till about a year. No, I said like six months into it, but that six months of us blaming other people, it was like two years to turn that around to the point that we had to take a season off because it was everybody else's problem and not his. And then all of a sudden, like lightly massaging, it turned in all of a sense like I need to get better. And then all of a sudden he got back on that team.
Speaker 2:Because what does an athlete or a human gain from everything else being everyone else's problem?
Speaker 1:And then I'm sitting, like having been doing this for 15 years. I sit on the stands and it's so crazy how many parents just sit there and blame the coaches, the programs, the refs, this and this. I just sit there and listen to them. Man, that's just the wrong way to go, Because all it's doing is telling your kid that it's OK the way they are, which is not. I'm not saying like, of course, your kid is fine how it is, but if you want your child to get to this certain spot, turning it around and blaming everyone else means that the child doesn't think that they have to change.
Speaker 2:Everyone else has to change.
Speaker 1:It's the biggest mistake I ever made and I see everyone do it.
Speaker 2:Completely and it's protecting them and this is our, I think, our instinct as a parent from having to feel really hard feelings, and we need them to. They need to fail. Struck out and he needed to feel that that hurt, and I mean blaming. The ombu could almost diffuse that by saying like, wow, you're upset. You are so upset. We have to let them feel that uncomfortable upsetness and be with them in that emotion.
Speaker 1:No one wants their kid to be upset. It's a terrible thing.
Speaker 2:It's doing a real disservice to them, you know, I mean certainly for their longevity in the sport but in life and navigating all of the disappointments life is going to bring us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like on an academic thing. Like I was telling like, well, like the school is tough, that was that now. And when he came home and he didn't have you know 100 or this or that and he had things marked off, he was like, oh my god, I'm like dude, I'm like this is great, I'm like this is real. The word you were was not real. This is how real stuff is. And I said there's nothing wrong with it. Now you know what your teacher expects. Now just do it that way, right, like that's it. Right. Now you know what you need to do. Hey, will, now you know what to do. Now you know what to do. Like I never had that with Lee Lee's. Like he's an outlier when it comes to that, but like Will's got it. But he never failed. And it's so terrible not to fail and to shelter your kid from failure.
Speaker 2:All you're doing is Disappointment, fear, Like all of the things.
Speaker 1:No, you don't want to fight yeah like what are you going to do when you go on the real world and someone's like, yeah, you didn't get the sale, and you're like, okay, well, I'm just going to quit, and so I think that the answer to the question of the blame is really, I think it's checking ourselves on our like our instinct to blame and you know what it quite actually could be a fact.
Speaker 2:They probably did all those things that maybe caused Will to go down a level right. However, what's really important about that is how he feels about it. You know how that felt for him and those and like being with him through that and not making but I had a moment to be like.
Speaker 1:This is a moment. This is under your control.
Speaker 2:And that too.
Speaker 1:And I screwed that up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's-.
Speaker 1:It was such a great moment to take failure-.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:To take something that he was crying about and saying what can we do? To rise and like, really get at it. And I just and I always think about it, but it's great because I failed and I figured it out, and it's like and I've used that now for even Lee, for everybody it's like, hey, this is the card we're dealt, let's figure it out and let's win.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and it was hard and we can come back from it or but, feeling it, I just feel like we really protect our kids from-.
Speaker 1:I mean there's so many people that just switch teams because they're like, oh, I'm not getting 20 minutes or I'm not getting 10 minutes. I'm like, well, does your kid deserve it? Not in a bad sense, Right. And if he doesn't, how do we get those minutes? How do we get those swings? And that's the talk you're talking about. Hey, how are you feeling? What do you need to do? The confidence like what does it make you feel that you're not playing 10 minutes, so you're not getting enough at bats?
Speaker 2:And how do?
Speaker 1:we fix that.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And I just don't think parents want to have that convo, which is terrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe you're saying that it feels like sitting in entitlement rather than sitting in the realism of the situation which is it's hard. It's going to come with feelings. Here's what we need to do to get better and letting them. You're going to play down this year. You know what.
Speaker 1:I mean.
Speaker 2:Like that's going to happen.
Speaker 1:And small. My mom always says small kids, small problems. It's better to deal with this failure now, when they're 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, then all of a sudden someone get to junior, senior year or college and all of a sudden they can't recoup from the failure.
Speaker 2:Probably the number one skill that I work with with athletes is self-regulation and their inability to self-regulate, the frustration going from 0 to 180 in a second causing them to on a basketball court. Their movement gets wild. They're not in control of the play or the ball anymore. Their shots are all over the place because they're angry and they're upset Baseball throwing a bat. You know, whatever it is right.
Speaker 2:Building that space between the emotion and the reaction is huge and if we don't start that now with our kids as young as possible, helping them regulate and it is a co-regulation I am responsible as a parent for helping my kid manage that emotion. I can't expect him to be able to do that on his own, developmentally Ghali, even your senior or your high schooler, I mean, needs a little support there right, we all do.
Speaker 2:That's human nature is to regulate each other, you know, and not avoid that. So really sit with your children while they're having a moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah and like let's talk through it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, be with them. Don't even try to make it better. It's okay if they have it.
Speaker 1:No, making it better makes it worse.
Speaker 2:My kids tell me that right away, right and maybe that goes back to our conversation of like no, no, no, you did everything, so great it's that sitting with them first and then nurturing that positive, as they're ready for it.
Speaker 1:Give me everything, and here's the good stuff you did. Yeah, you don't want to hear it. Now I'm going to tell you it and digest it and take it how you want.
Speaker 2:But I gave you the space first for this to be crappy.
Speaker 1:I think that's the main reason. I think, like everything that we're hitting on, over the last 30 minutes is why parents don't like their kids playing baseball. Yeah, I've had Lee in the car and be like this is the biggest mind fuck, because there's nothing worse. You know, it's like you got to have a degree, like you just get into a car with a baseball player after a game.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Oh man, exactly yeah, that's a game of failure Can.
Speaker 2:I throw a question at you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm curious about. Okay, you know how everybody says like baseball is a game of failure, Is it ridiculous of me to want to shift that to say it's a game of opportunity?
Speaker 1:Well, I know, I think that's what.
Speaker 2:Does that negate the sitting in the feelings I just said was so important? But also I want to say there is a next one, there's another opportunity.
Speaker 1:It is. Here's the problem with baseball, and this is straight out of Lee's mouth. The problem is, it's just only about three opportunities every nine innings.
Speaker 1:If that I mean Lee plays third base. You know not many people pull because you need a slow pitcher to pull, so you're only really going to get action there is if it's a fast pitcher and you have a lefty and that throw from third to first is 128 feet. You maybe throw it twice a game. So when you make a, you make a mistake in baseball. The first thing you say is I'm not going to get another shot and that's the. But that's the reality, I know.
Speaker 2:I know, I know I don't know how you get past that, but that's the reality of that sport.
Speaker 1:It's just like yes yes, and that's the main reason will hates it.
Speaker 2:Well, you might not get an opportunity that game, but you're playing a whole heck of a lot of games.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you sit on that.
Speaker 2:You do, you do.
Speaker 1:When you you know, because what?
Speaker 2:I'm trying to do here is think about resiliency and how we can build that a little bit more, so that one bad play doesn't breed another bad play. Whereas, like in basketball and faster moving sports, I get it Like you got your bouncing back quicker, there's another chance. There's another chance. That chance is right in front of you. The space is longer.
Speaker 1:I mean I will tell you you're at a baseball game with being Lee. Lee makes a mistake. You will hear me say next play. And I just say it in a monotone voice where he can hear it. And I'm like Lee. He looks at me. I'm like next play.
Speaker 2:But you are, so you are doing it.
Speaker 1:You are saying like there's another opportunity because I think what I'm struggling with it's just tougher in baseball because of the time elements.
Speaker 2:But we're loving to frame baseball in the failure aspect and I am not sure if that's helpful or hindering, and maybe it depends on the person, and I know that.
Speaker 1:I think, I think you do. You do the failure part because you know you're going to strike. You're not going to reach base seven out of 10 times. If you reach base seven out of 10 times, you're in the Hall of Fame and you're going to make $50 million a year. But if you reach base two and a half out of 10 times, that's if you're, if you're successful 25% of time, you're a good player. And I think saying it's a game of failure is more of like hey, that other seven and a half times. It's just, it's OK, it's meant to be. Now, listen, that may be the wrong approach. You may want to be like hey, I'm going to hit 400. Fuck Tutton Williams.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You know, and like this is I'm going to take this aspect at it but I think there's so much failure in that sport that if you go that route you have to have an ego. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, I mean as Lee calls it, which I don't believe. But Lee calls it false ego. I don't believe in that term. At least like it's, at least like I can't have a false ego. I'm like you need it, Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you need to know that, like he always can, like we all compare each other at the house. He's like you know I can't take seven threes, like Will does, and miss all seven and take seven more and thinking that I'm going to hit the next seven. He was just not how I'm built, where Will's like I'm going to take 14 of them. If I miss 14, the last 10 minutes, I'm going to take 14 more and I'm going to hit them and then I'm going to shoot 50%.
Speaker 2:And I think what I try to do if I'm thinking about it like from my mental performance embodiment place, my mind, body connection place what I'm trying to do is increase their chances If they are embodied the next time they go up to bat, if they are fully connected. I had a player once tell me like I can't even hear my walk up song when I go up there, like I am so out, I'm slumping, you know.
Speaker 1:I'm not doing well.
Speaker 2:So he really worked on like how do you get in present moment while you're walking up to bat so you can take in that moment? At least what we're doing there a game of failure or not is increasing their chances right. Yeah, that they do hit because they're connected.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I always say like, and I don't know if this is like that type of thing, but I always, like, you know, when you strike out, I'm like, I want you to tell your. I always say, lee, I want you to tell yourself oh, I made a mistake, I know what I did wrong. And next time he's done yes, and Lee is like well, I may not feel that I said no, but if you say that, that mind part, you're gonna that next, at bat, you're gonna be like I'm ready, because you're not going to walk up there even remembering that strikeout. You're going to walk up there saying I know exactly what I did wrong. I should have got a hit. Here's the reason I didn't, even if it's false and it's on, it's on you, it's not on me and I'm going to get you this time.
Speaker 2:And I love that, because that to me just doesn't wreak a failure. No that wreaks of comeback, and but that's not, that's, that's a little bit but hold up now.
Speaker 1:That's a little bit more of like you're the problem, not me. I'm not holding myself accountable because I'm. I think I think in in baseball you got to be like that a little bit. You got to be like that Umpsucks because, man, if you start doubting yourself in that sport you're well, I will say I think that's an important piece of it.
Speaker 2:Again, what can I control?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I was like I don't have that call and it was a pretty bad call, so I don't feel as bad about that strikeout as I would about the one.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying. So you know that. That's that's why I want, that's why I always say to Lee I say just like I said just lie yourself. He's like well, that's false. I said no, but false confidence is confidence. There's no difference. True, I mean because you're confident that you're going to do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, you have to, just like when I walk into a listing appointment and and let's say it's a home that I shouldn't get, I walk in there saying I'm going to get this home. Now I may think that I'm not, but by mind and my body says you're going to, you're going to sign this 100%, and so, yes, I agree with that.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tell you, tell your mind, like I'm going to walk up there and I'm hitting the ball. Yeah now, ultimately, I want your mind, a body, to sink up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:I want you to feel that. I want you to recognize what shifts in your body as you tell yourself that. Yeah you know, I feel that power, I feel the detention level. Let's go. So I'm not living in the anxiety. Yeah, this next at bat. I'm living in the power and control of that next to that in a good way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So yes. I just guess you can change your mindset to change your body and if that's like I'm ready, I'm going after it. I'm letting go of that last one.
Speaker 1:And I'm just not going to worry about anything. Mm-hmm yeah.
Speaker 2:Letting go, letting go all the time. Baseball. Baseball is tough. I love it. I know I did play softball. If that helps.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I never. I played baseball like T-ball when I was young and I'm always like man that sport is something else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was my sport when I wasn't dancing, I was playing softball.
Speaker 1:All right, we're going to wrap this up. We've been talking for a while. It's been very good. I want to go over some of this stuff here. So first off say your website one more time.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yep Body mind combined B-O-D-Y-W-M-I-N-D-C-O-M-B-I-N-E. Okay, Body mind combined, Really that premise, the body and mind.
Speaker 1:Do you want to give any other way to get a hold of you? Do you want to you're more? This is your time to say whatever you want to say, oh yes, bodymindcombinecom is great.
Speaker 2:Email is also wonderful. Shannon at bodymindcombinecom.
Speaker 1:That's easy. Yeah, it's all right there. Shannon, with three Ns two in the middle and one at the end. One. N Shannon yes, I don't know if things people sell. That could be a Q and A or something like that.
Speaker 2:I you know I do work with organizations, individuals, coaches, parents, all of it, and I really do like working on all levels of the sport and I believe in the health on all levels. So takes all of us, we're all part of it.
Speaker 1:Well, this was great, very fun, so much fun.
Speaker 2:Jason, thank you so much for having me in this conversation.
Speaker 1:Oh no, this is great.
Speaker 2:You know, I hope, if there's any takeaways from today, I think accountability is kind of one of them. I think accountability is about present moment too, of like owning what me as a parent, what my needs are, teaching accountability.
Speaker 1:I mean to me, like I was, you know, being in sales. I will say to everyone, to every day of like, how do I like? Everyone says to me how do you know, how did you get here, how'd you get here? And I'm always like one thing I'm accountable. That's it. If you can hold yourself accountable, the world is your oyster.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because there's only about one percent of the people that will.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I'm like there's no stopping you. You're if you can hold yourself accountable, you're a beast. I tell that to my kids all the time. You want to be successful. I don't care what you do. If you're accountable, no stopping you.
Speaker 2:I think it brings us back into who we are and our truest selves and our strengths and our growing edges and sports keeps you accountable. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, that's the one thing.
Speaker 1:I say to parents. I mean, I just think every single child has to and should play a sport for one reason you hold yourself accountable and you learn that other people need you to do what you're doing to make it all work. And kids love the locker room, come on.
Speaker 2:They do. I mean, and probably the last one I was thinking of that I think is just interesting for all of us to do, is that tracking what's going on in our minds and knowing and being aware that it has a direct impact on our bodies, just noticing that awareness in and of itself allows us to really appreciate that, like these thoughts I'm having right now are affecting me here, but how? That's what we're not asking.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What are those changes that we're experiencing?
Speaker 1:I agree with you.
Speaker 2:And that is the first step in all of this.
Speaker 1:I have those reset moments. That's my shower, yeah. My deep breath Outside in, inside out, yeah, and I'm like okay, I don't have to do 10 things in one minute, I go, I have a full day.
Speaker 2:Yes, right, one thing at a time. One thing at a time. One thing at a time.
Speaker 1:And you don't get crippled.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:All right. Thank you so much. I appreciate everyone listening. We'll be dropping this in a couple weeks. You can always find us on Spotify, apple, buzzsprout, everything you want, subscribe and get the podcast right when it comes out. And thanks, we hit over 4,000 streams this week and we hit over 1,000 downloads and we finally have over a hundred people that are getting subscribed at all times. So thank you and the feedback's been great and enjoy September.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, you got it.